Kindergarten is Hilarious

Yesterday I told Chloe to empty out her backpack and put her lunchbox away.  She said, "My lunch was in a paper sack so I don't need to take care of my lunchbox."  I said, "No, your snack was in a paper sack.  Your lunchbox was in your backpack."  It turns out she thought that the tiny back of pretzel crisps and tiny organic apple I packed for a snack were her LUNCH!  She said that she decided to eat the pretzels for snack and "save" the apple for lunch, and at lunch she at the apple right down to the core.  Later that night I emailed her teacher to tell her that I did, in fact, pack a lunch.  She emailed me right back to let me know that she had even asked Chloe if she had more for lunch than an apple, and that Chloe responded the apple was all she had.  Hahahaha.  I cannot stop laughing about this. 


Chloe said that there are swing bullies on the playground.  The big kids apparently hog the swings and then tease the little kids saying, "Haha, you don't have a swiii-ing."  So Chloe said the next recess she was line leader and ran straight for the swings, but STILL didn't get one.  I asked why she didn't tell a teacher, and she told me that there are no teachers on the playground.  I said, surly there has to be a teacher on the playground, but she said no, there are only construction workers.  Bahaha.  I'm guessing the playground patrol people wear green vests like the crossing guards.  Today she told my mom that she gave her special ring to a construction worker.  My mom called to let me know and thought I should probably have a talk with her about strangers.  I assured her that the construction worker in question was in all likelihood a playground patrol. 


Oh, and apparently, Chloe already has a husband named Adam.  He is about 1.5 feet taller than her. He was getting bullied on the playground and she "didn't like it one bit!"  This Kindergarten thing is just killing me!