A Mother's Love

I would dare to bet that I have always been this way, but around my junior year of college I came to the realization that I have what I like to refer to as an obsessive, or addictive personality. It all started with Harry Potter. I read the first book in one day and then the next day I went out and bought the five remaining books. I read them over the course of two or three weeks all the while working a full time internship and taking a full course load. I can recall coming home from the bar one night at 2:00 am and anxiously cracking open my Harry Potter book. For weeks Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were the only people I talked about. I was having nightmares about Lord Voldemort and relating real life scenarios to scenes from Harry Potter. I was a total nutcase. I just couldn't stop! Shortly after my Harry Potter obsession I became hooked on Sex and the City. Eyes practically bleeding, I watched the series sometimes until 4:00 am. I have so many examples of these addictions. The minute I crack open the cover of a new book I feel inclined to finish it that day - even if it is horrible! It is just the way I am programmed.

All I know is that this particular personality trait transcends into my relationships with people. I have always preferred to have a small number of very close friends rather than a large group of acquaintances. I am a true believer in "best friends" and "soul mates." I prefer quality over quantity, and I prefer to give all my love to a small group of people rather than spread it out sparingly over many people. If I don't talk to Sara or Kelly for more than a week I start to feel like I haven't heard from them in over a year. I just need to know what they have been up to, and I truly care about what is happening in their lives. This lengthy explanation serves as the precursor to my next point. I am completely and madly in love with my dog, Griffin.

I love Griffin so much that I truly believe he has opened a part of my soul that I never knew existed. Sometimes I have dreams about Griff falling off a ledge or running into the street and I always, without thinking, risk my own life to save him. For the past two years, Griff has been our baby, our firstborn. We baby him and buy him gifts. We take him everywhere we go and I am often offended when people say he cannot come along. I am sure that Griffin is one of a kind. How many dogs do you know who can hold a hot, fresh piece of bacon in their jowls until you say "get it?" One. Griffin. I doubt most humans could do that! It is almost frightening how much I love my dog.


What I am getting at, what I have been thinking a lot about lately, is how insanely in love I will be with Chloe when she is born - how insanely in love I am with her already. There must be few things more powerful than a mother's love. I remember realizing one day, randomly, that my mother is the most amazing person in the world. I had spent a good 5-7 years being totally embarrassed of her when one day it hit me that only God Himself could love me more than my mom. And instantly it broke my heart. I thought of how she stayed home with us until we were in school. When we were old enough she got a job and went to school part time. I remember jumping on her bed while she studied for her CPA exam. Have you ever taken beginning accounting? She is amazing. She dragged us around to softball, dance, wrestling, and birthday parties. She never took a day off from loving us. Then I thought of how utterly terrible I was to her for so many years. I had even screamed the words "I HATE YOU" and slammed the door in her face. And yet she STILL loves me. I think she loves me more and more each day. That kind of love and devotion is truly remarkable. It is difficult to even put into words. I just know that I am in for something huge, something unquantifiable. Thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to experience the power of a mother's love!