Chloe - 7 Months

Well it has almost been a whole month since my last post, because things at work just seem to be getting busier and busier. I figured I had better post something about Chloe's 7th month before I forget about all of the amazing things she learned! Chloe is now officially crawling. What started as an army crawl turned into an army crawl + two quick real crawls + fall on face, repeat.


All of this eventually turned into a full on crawl. By the end of the month miss girl could crawl all the way across the room and back, and boy, did she think she was cool shit.


At the very end of the month she decided, hey, if I can crawl, I can probably stand up. So she gave it a whirl. One night when I got home from work she started crawling over to me with this devilish little look on her face. You could just tell she was thinking "I'm gonna get you!" Then she grabbed a hold of me and pulled herself right up. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the end of it. She has since made it her sole purpose in life to crawl over to things, pull herself up, and look over her shoulder at us silently thinking "neener, neener, neener." And poor Griffin. He gets the worst of it. She pulls herself up on his face, ears, tummy, tail, you name it. But he just sits there, probably thinking about how he can't wait to turn eighteen.


Chloe is talking now more than ever. I think she sounds like a baby dinosaur. She is always squealing, growling, or roaring. It is so funny. She never really figured out how to laugh. Instead, when she is excited she just screeches. The only way she will really, truly belly laugh is if Griffin is barking or playing because Griffin is hilarious.

Since Melissa took two weeks of vacation in August, my dad volunteered to take some vacation to come watch Chloe. Dad watched Chloe a total of six days in August, but I'm pretty sure it only took one day before he was wrapped her finger. Chloe loves my dad and it was so cute to see her with him. Now she loves pretty much anyone with facial hair.

Chloe still loves all of the same things like being outdoors, Griffin, stroller rides, and music, but this month she decided that the really loves to play. She loves playing with toys that light up and make noise. My mom picked up some toys from a few garage sales because all of the toys I had at home for her were soft, quiet, and boring. She has a big basket of toys in the living room now, but she still seems to go after anything that is not a toy. She is always trying to get Griffin's nasty toys and once when I looked away for a split second I looked down to find Chloe chewing on Griffin's gnarly Nylabone.

We are having all sorts of fun chasing Chloe around the house these days. Here is her 7 month photo.

Yum Yum!

Chloe started on solid foods on July 22. We started with some rice cereal that was just mostly breast milk. She was pretty skeptical.


Since then she has had sweet potatoes, bananas, carrots, peas, and nectarines. The peas only lasted one day before we fed them to Griff because Chloe dry heaved with each bite. Who can blame a girl?


For the most part, Chloe likes eating solid food. She isn't ravenous or anything. She just goes with the flow. She has given us lots of cute faces and is getting better and better at keeping the food in her mouth rather than all over her face.


Her favorite part of eating real food is getting to drink from a water glass! You have to be careful with your water glass because she will do everything in her power to get it.

I have been making Chloe's baby food. Lately, I just whip it up while I burn my bras. Don't worry, I have not turned into a total hippie or anything. I still do an evil laugh every time I throw Chloe's disposable diapers into the trash. Rain on my weekends... take that, EARTH.

The reason I have been making Chloe's baby food is because my Bradley friends introduced me to this book called Super Baby Food by this crazy lady named Ruth Yaron. The thought would have never occurred to me that it would be possible and even easy to make baby food. It is as simple as cook, blend, freeze. It maybe takes ten to fifteen minutes to make a batch of baby food. The most amazing part is that it saves us at least $15 every batch I make. I can't cook an adult meal to save my life, but I am very handy with the microwave and food processor, so it turns out I can make a mean batch of baby food!

For the record, I truly do not believe it is better to make your own baby food, and I have some jarred baby food, too. It is just surprisingly cheap and easy. It is even sort of fun. I would recommend that book if you are even somewhat interested in learning how to make baby food. Like I said, the woman is a total nut. She probably spends her whole day making baby food and sanitizing every nook of her home. But the back of the book has a lot of great recipes and advice on how and when to pick ripe fruits and vegetables, how and how long to store them, etc. It's really interesting stuff!

Pumping Woes

When I was pregnant and I passed by another pregnant woman I always felt like we had this secret connection, a unique understanding for one another despite being perfect strangers. It was like I was granted membership into an elite group, and all it cost me was fifteen pair of size four pants.

A few months later when I became a breastfeeding/pumping mother, the group became even more elite, because there were more drop outs than not. Now when I come across a woman carrying a little, black, milk-stained backpack, I feel the empathy and the connection on an even deeper level.

Only she, the woman with the milk-stained backpack, could possibly understand the disappointment you feel when you wake up in the morning and realize that you forgot to put the milk, the precious, precious milk in the fridge when you got home from work.

Only she can can understand the paradox you face when your office phone is ringing, and you really need to take the call, but will the person on the other line wonder what that "Riurr Riurr Riurr" is in the background? Also, only she agrees that the "Riurr Riurr Riurr" is actually taunting "Nipple Nipple Nipple."

Only she knows the feeling of spilling three ounces of milk down your shirt, pants, and shoes at the office because you failed to notice that the milk was pooling at the top of your tiny, disposable Medela storage bag.

She may not be the only one to notice, but she is definitely the only one who understands why you keep instinctively pressing on your boobs, which have turned into boulders because it has been almost five hours since you last pumped.

She knows how it feels to pump in a parking lot that was once empty, but is now full of construction workers on their lunch break. She knows how it feels to pump in a moving car, a pontoon boat, and a closet. She knows how it feels to pump over top of a public toilet, and when you drop a piece of your pump into said toilet and cry momentarily before throwing a fit of rage, only she will testify in court that your husband in fact MADE you do it and so it wasn't your fault that you attempted to kill him.

And in that moment when you see her hauling her purse, work tote, breast pump, diaper bag, and baby from her car you briefly think she may be the most amazing woman you've never known... but then again, is that bitch wearing size four jeans?

Chloe - 6 Months

Half a year! Six months! 26 Weeks! 181 Days! It doesn't matter how you count it - holy cow the time flies!


Chloe weighed in at 16 lbs 7 oz at her six month check up, and was 25 inches long. She was below average for height and above average for weight, and may be shaping up to have her momma's figure. Haha. The doctor was very impressed with Chloe's motor skills. She said Chloe was very strong and healthy. When she asked if Chloe could get up on all fours I turned her over and she stood with her palms and feet flat on the floor with her knees locked and butt straight in the air. It was her downward dog yoga pose I think. The doctor was laughing so hard, and it really was one of the cutest things Chloe has done to date. Little Miss Amelia also had to have two vaccinations. She cried so hard, but the pain was short lived and she was back to herself after a quick nap.

At six months Chloe is sitting up without much risk of falling over. She can roll all over the floor to get where she wants to go, and she can even army crawl. She is laughing and smiling all of the time. Her hair is coming in very thick and very blond. She still has blue eyes and dark skin.

Her biggest accomplishment so far has been breaking through two bottom teeth on July 16! She handled it like a champ. She wasn't fussy and didn't have a fever or diarrhea or anything. Chloe is one tough girl! I wasn't too thrilled about the challenges of teeth, but so far she has only bit me lightly a few times. Nothing major yet, although I'm sure I've got it coming.

Right now Chloe loves: necklaces, hair, beards, Griffin, grass, stroller rides, the outdoors in general, baths, drinking water from a cup, books, her exersaucer, mama and dada, grandpas and grandmas, Melissa, and country music (if Chloe is every crying in the car we just crank up some Rascal Flatts and she goes right into a trance). Right now Chloe hates: getting into her car seat, being left alone in a room, and taking naps (most of the time).

Chloe still sleeps pretty well at night. She goes to bed around 8:00 p.m. and stays sleeping until around 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. The problem is that when she hears people awake then she wants to play. She will take a hour long morning nap on a good day and then two 20 minute cat naps throughout the day. She is just go go go and hates having to stop for a nap. She is a good girl with or without her naps so no one seems to mind.

We started eating some rice cereal two days shy of her six month milestone. More to come on that in a later post. For now I'm just amazed at how fast these first six months have went. I have loved every month and all of the changes they have brought. Every day with Chloe is so much fun. I feel both joy and sadness to see my little baby grow into a big girl. Luckily, Chloe is getting to be more and more hilarious as the days pass.

New Name

You may have noticed that I changed the name of the blog in an attempt to make the site slightly less Googleable. It used to be that you just type in my full name and my blog came up as the number one hit, so I tried to go through and delete our last name from the blog wherever I could (including the title). We'll see how that goes for a while. Any suggestions on a new name? It's a work in progress.

Creepy Creeptsers

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a new post that was hilarious on all accounts. The story was so funny on its own that I had to do very little in order to make it a masterpiece. I mentioned a while back that a coworker of mine, Andrew, and I successfully planned and executed what was arguably the greatest practical joke on earth. Period. I was cracking up the whole time I wrote and edited the story. As I sat back in my computer chair marveling at my work, I moved the cursor over the "publish post" tab when suddenly the voice of reason popped into my head. It started out as a little whisper and the more I listened the more I realized it was screaming at me DON'T DO IT!

We played this practical joke on another coworker, and even though it was all in good fun, no feelings were hurt, and the world is officially a better place because we did it, I realized that in some circles what we did might be considered grounds for say, I don't know, getting fired? It would be an extreme and unnecessary consequence, sure, but the last thing I want to do is get dooced. On one hand I'm happy that I've grown up enough to realize when I should keep my mouth shut (it only took 26 years), but on the other hand I'm disappointed that I cannot share this delightful story.

Anyway, the whole thing got me to thinking about my blog. Originally I just wanted to journal everything because I never wanted to forget my pregnancy or all of Chloe's milestones. I wanted to share our story with friends and relatives. I thought of how amazing it would be if I could read my grandmother's journal. But this isn't a journal. It's a public forum. The more I thought about it, the more I started freaking out about the fact that any old creepster in the world could log on to the Internet, Google my name, and get my life story. I do, after all, have a history of attracting the creepiest of creepsters.

Like just two years ago I was up in Ludington inspecting a vacant laboratory building for work. The owner of the building had the groundskeeper meet me there and give me a tour. The building had been vacant for years and it was dark and scary on its own. They used to test animals there for Pete's sake. But on top of that I'm walking through the building with this textbook redneck by my side. I'm just trying to be pleasant and quick about my business, but this guy keeps casually cornering me, and by the end of the inspection he is telling me how nice and beautiful I am. I was freaking out because no one would have known or heard me if this lunatic touched me. Luckily I got out of there safely, but the next morning I got a phone call. I asked who it was and the deep lawnmowerman voice on the line would just say "Don't you know?" or "It's me." Then later that day the same thing. I received four phone calls from that guy over the next two days before he finally let me alone.

That story is nothing compared to the one I have from the summer after my freshman year in college. I was working at the golf course as a beach volleyball coordinator and beer cart girl. The job was fun, but you had to deal with a lot of wise guys. I got to know a few of the guys on a first name basis because they played in leagues and showed up every week. Well toward the end of the summer this one guy started showing up at my stand every night of the week. Then one night I was closing down my stand at 10:30 or so. I was the only one out there and was just hopping in my car when the guy comes driving up in his truck. He asked me to come to his window because he wanted to show me something. When I looked in he had a video camera and on it was a home video of him and his wife... you know... bow chicka wow wow. Stunned and disgusted I ran to my car and drove away. I mean, WTF? What is it about me that I attract the weirdest people in the world? I'm not sure.

I was talking to Paul about my blog and I asked him what he thought of it. He hurt my feelings a little when he said he wasn't really sure how he felt about it. Said he thought it was dangerous to post all of those pictures of Chloe, our house, our family. I think it only hurt my feelings because he was voicing my own concerns, and he kind of got me thinking there might be some weird person out there reading my blog (lawnmower man?) who is just waiting to up and steal our baby. The thought sounds crazy, but, like I said, crazy people tend to gravitate toward me.

So right now I'm on the fence about my blog. Should I stay, or should I go? I may just make it a private blog so that all seven of you will have to log on before reading. I'll be sure to let you know.

Just for Kicks

Just in case you need a laugh today, I thought I'd post this picture. I forgot about it until just now. Chloe received this "Lil' Kim" wig as a gift from daddy's friend.


I'm sorry, Chloe, but this is hilarious :o)