From Mama to Hey Ma: The Evolution of a Name

I begged and pleaded for months for Chloe to say “mama.”  “Say mama.”  “Say mama.”  “Can you say mama?”  For months, nothing.  Then finally one day while out to dinner I thought I’d heard her say “mama” as she reached for me from across the table.  “DID YOU HEAR THAT?!” I yelled.  Had anyone else heard those sweet words?  She wanted her mama.  She needed her mama.  It sounded glorious. 

My Mom would always tell me not to worry.  I would be hearing those words soon enough.  And often.  This was coming from the woman who has been through every stage of motherhood from "mama" to "hey ma."  I should trust her.  I do trust her.  But I still wanted to hear my title – the title I earned through 37.5 weeks of pregnancy and 23 hours of labor – validated through the lips of my own daughter. 

Mama.  It was worth the wait.  But "mama" is a rookie title.  “Mama” means you probably do not know what the hell you are doing 99% of the time.  (Maybe that never changes.)  Mamas think it is stressful to take one tiny baby who is sleeping peacefully in her car seat out to dinner.  Mamas call the pediatrician once a week and their own mothers seven times a week.  Mamas buy new purses based on their capacity to hold a bottle, diaper, wipes, and change of clothes.  Mamas cannot have a normal conversation about anything other than poop consistency, swaddling, and ounces of milk.  

The thing is that mama lasts for just a short time. 

What I mean is that just last weekend Chloe was playing in the living room when all of a sudden she came sprinting toward me in the dining room.  “Mommy, mommy, mommy,” she yelled.  I couldn’t believe it.  Mommy?  I was puzzled.  Where had she learned to call me by that name?  When had she decided she would start calling me mommy?  And why?  Had I moved on to the next phase of motherhood ?  I hadn’t expected to receive a promotion so soon.  After all, I haven’t seen a qualifications list.  I didn’t even receive my annual review.

Maybe there are clear signs that show I am ready to be “mommy.”  Maybe one of the first requirements is learning that bribery is an important part of every day life.  Let’s not call it bribery.  If I were a politician I would call it a reward system.  Somehow “rewarding” your child with a grape if she puts her coat on feels far more spectacular than begging, pleading, and eventually forcing the damn thing on her body. 

For some reason my pride is undamaged if I suggest she does something I know damn well she is going to do no matter what.  “Chloe, if you get in your car seat I will let you play in the car when we get home.  You can beep the horn.  Beep , beep.”   The whole time she’s thinking, “ummm, yeah lady I was going to do that anyway, but sure, point for you.  Wink, wink.” 

Perhaps one of the requirements is that you no longer have the natural instinct to ensure six different times that your child is breathing during the night.  No, you are too busy making sure your child isn’t opening the back gate to make a break for the road.  You are too busy peeling her off of the counter top where she is attempting to touch the knives.  Too busy making her spit out pennies, dirt, crayons, and toothpaste.

Maybe being a mommy is realizing that your child is becoming independent.  She has her own thoughts and preferences, and she doesn't want to be told what to do all day.  So maybe you just let her wear a pink tutu and no shirt one day, because that is what she wants to wear.  And then maybe you let her, in her pink tutu, *gasp* eat Lucky Charms while watching Dora.  Because, who cares?  That is what I would want to do.  Hell, maybe you let her do it once per week, because not even locking your keys in your car in the freezing cold can bring you down from the high you felt that morning when your child was perfectly happy.

Maybe you let her wear her frog coat whenever she damn well pleases.  Pants optional.

 Maybe you let her play in the leaves even if you aren't 100% sure they are dog poop free.

Maybe you let her eat a ring pop while running around the house.

Maybe you trust her to hang from the edge of the pool all by herself.

The more I think about it the more I realize I am ready to be "mommy."  It is a great reminder that my little baby is not so much a baby anymore.  I realize that the next phase will be here in the blink of an eye.  Mom.  Shortly after that will come the dreaded "hey ma."  I don’t know exactly when it will happen, but I can’t help but wonder what I’ll be doing differently at the time. 

Chloe's Big Weekends

Chloe has been having some busy weekends lately, and things are not expected to slow down until baby brother comes along.  We went to visit Josh, Lydia, and Zane last weekend who live up in Traverse City.  We met Josh & Lydia a couple of years ago through my best friend Sara, and hit it off right away after meeting them.  After a long period of not making any new friends after college, we have found it to be much easier to make friends after having Chloe.  In fact, I think I have said here before that it seems almost impossible to be friends with anyone without kids.  That may be a different post entirely.  Here are a few pictures from Chloe's last few weekends. 

Daddy helped Chloe ring the bell at the apple orchard. 

Chloe and Zane posed while their Dada's gave them a little boost.  We especially liked how Chloe's side was dangerously jagged.

Chloe and Zane held hands for a brief moment in the corn maze.  We thought Chloe would be an all star at the corn maze, but it was really Zane who excelled.  He led the way, and every ten seconds we'd have to yell at him to stop and wait for Chloe who was eating kernals of corn from the ground.  Every time I turned around she had a little chipmunk cheek full of corn.  Goofy girl.

I wanted to include this picture to demonstrate what our child does before swimming class starts each Monday.  All of the other kids sit on their parents' laps while patiently waiting for class to start.  Chloe beelines it for the noodles, grabs one, and starts smacking the water.  She runs all the way around the pool getting into whatever she can find while we wait.

Here is an example of Chloe using her stool to access the faucet.

And here she is using the faucet...

Aaaaaand here she is after Mama made her come down from the faucet.

Chloe really loves getting dressed lately.  She selected a slinky red number the other night - Dada's clean underwear.  She thought she was pretty cool stuff.  Getting dressed is becoming a very, very big hurdle every morning.  Chloe has started to want to get herself dressed.  The only problem is that she hasn't quite mastered the skills required to get dressed on her own so she gets very angry!  The last few mornings have involved her throwing a Stage 5 tantrum while I chase her around getting her dressed.  I hope this phase passes quickly!

We went home over the weekend so that our families could see Chloe in her costume.  After just one quick visit Supergirl had to take a little nap. 

But it wasn't long and we were off!  We stopped to visit Great Grandma Sally & Great Grandpa Frank.  We also got to see Jeff, Paula, and Chelsea.  Grandma Sally hooked her up with a giant bag of fruit and candy, as well as a stuffed Snoopy doll.  Chloe really loved playing with Grandma Sally!

Later that night we stopped off at Aunt Kendra & Uncle Chad's house.  Paul took this picture of the kids.  It is amazing that they were once Chloe's age.  We have a hectic house to look forward to!

We rounded out the night at Uncle Drew & Aunt Shantel's house.  Andrew is Buzz this year for Halloween.  He got to put on his costume since Chloe was dressed up, too.  He "flew" around for us for about an hour.  He is such a funny boy!

Chloe loved Andrew's balloon.  She is very into balloons lately.  Unfortunately, by the time we left the balloon was just half its size.  I think she played a little too rough with it.

Andrew leaning in for a kiss!