Lessons Learned

Here is my 18 week baby bump! It is right before bed and I'm not looking my best, but it gives you an idea.


Even before I was pregnant Paul has been interested in looking through the baby isles at Target and Meijer. Like I said, he has wanted a baby it seems like forever! For some reason, even now, I find myself skipping past the isles. At first it was like the baby wasn't real to me yet, but now I skip them because I want to know the sex of the baby before we enter. I have to be feverishly prepared for everything. It makes me wonder how I will adapt to this mommy business. Primarily, I learn one of two ways. Either I A. study relentlessly any book I can get my hands on or B. try it once on my own, screw it up beautifully, and never ever make that mistake again.

I anticipate that even the smallest tasks like changing a diaper will be some of the most interesting learning experiences. I can recall many years ago changing Oli's diaper. I made the terrible rookie mistake of removing the diaper and placing it next to Oli. While I was struggling to differentiate between the front and back of the diaper, something hit me smack dab between the middle of the eyes. I looked up at Oli just in time to see her grab a little turd from the diaper and chuck it at my head. I freaked out and whipped the diaper over to my side, effectively whipping turds all over the bedroom floor. Oli just laughed and laughed, but when I think back on the event it replays in my mind like a horror scene. Lesson? Never place the diaper next to the baby's head and, if you do, wrap it up first! Also, it is a good idea to figure out the front and back of the diaper before you are facing a bare butt.

People very generously offer to let soon-to-be mothers "practice" on their babies. I have been given the kind opportunity to change many diapers. The truth is, if you are pretty sure you are going to do something wrong and make the baby cry, it is much more comforting to do it without an audience.

I am pretty terrified of all of the things we will need to learn in raising our new baby. The knowledge of a thousand books probably couldn't compare to the first hand life experience of raising your first child. But at the end of the day I cannot wait to meet the little baby growing inside of me. I had the opportunity to hold and feed Andrew a couple of times this weekend. Starting down at his big, curious eyes I realized that it is hard to get tired of cuddling and cooing a baby. He is just so sweet and innocent. And how often do you get to feel like a hero just because you replaced a pacifier with a bottle? Okay, I guess Paul does give me that same look of gratification when I replace his empty beer can.

By the way, thank you to the Moore's & Walser's for coming to our Labor Day Party. Here are a few pics.

Kendra cleaned my kitchen as per usual.




Ave gave Lola a foot massage.

Played a little flip cup. Even baby and I played with water. This baby should be a natural someday.

Tay cheered for the bullies. She was so cute that we let her.

A First Time for Everything

The last two weeks have been full of "firsts" for me. The first and most shocking of these events occurred when I realized that I need (and I mean I literally need) some comfy shoes. It's true. Even a self proclaimed stiletto warrior could use a good pair of comfy shoes while pregnant. Mom and I hit the Outlets and scavenged our way through Easy Spirit and some other strange mom-shoe store I had never set foot in and finally settled on my first pair of cushioned wedges. Can you guess the comfy pair? (I admit that it's sort of a trick question. I didn't say guess the ugly shoes. Who do you think I am?)



While we were there we also hit up the maternity store and bought some new dress pants to accommodate my growing belly. Aaah that's better.

Another fun first is that Drew and Shantel asked us to be Andrew's Godparents. We are so thrilled. We have loved him so much the day that we found out Shantel was pregnant. He is the sweetest little guy!

Last weekend baby and I stood up (or stood out) in Kelly's wedding. We had a nice, relaxing day getting ready and I was feeling pretty good after hair and make up. I even felt pretty good when I put my dress on, that is until I looked in the mirror. People say there is an "awkward stage" of pregnancy when no stranger in his right mind would dare ask if you are expecting because you could just as easily just be chubby. There is no doubt that I am in that awkward stage. I tried sucking in my belly and covering it with my flowers as much as possible, but as the night rolled on I just let her loose and obnoxiously told everyone I met that I was kind of fat, but mostly pregnant. We had fun at the wedding, but I really overexerted myself. I danced to about half of the songs and we didn't get home until 2:00 am. When I woke up the next day I couldn't move a muscle I was so sore. I felt so bad and was so worried that I mostly just slept the whole day. I'll try to post some pictures when Kelly gets them back.

We had another doctor appointment today and the heartbeat was 145. I have gained four pounds, but it sure does feel like more. We had to meet with a different doctor because Dr. Avery was in a delivery. He was a crusty old guy and I wasn't a huge fan mostly because of a conversation we had about the baby kicking. He told me that I would probably feel the baby kicking soon, and I told him that I thought I could feel it as early as 14 weeks. He proceeded to tell me there was no way unless this was my second baby and I knew what to feel for. Maybe he is right, but since he is a man and has never had the honor of feeling a baby kick his belly, you would think that I would know what to feel for before he would, right? The truth is that the feeling I had at 14 weeks is the same feeling I still get only now it is stronger. I think it feels like a twitching or like someone is flicking my belly from the inside. Sometimes I feel it often and then other times I won't feel it for a few days. What else in the world would be flicking my uterus if not for a baby?

We scheduled our next ultrasound for October 2nd. That is our anniversary weekend and I can't think of a better gift than learning if our baby is a he or a she. I can hardly wait!

Isn't it Ironic?

A constellation of pimples appeared on my forehead a few days ago and in all of the books I have read the instructions about using heavy duty zit cream are clear. Don't use them. The many ironies of pregnancy lose all hilarity once experienced first hand. For example, due to pregnancy you come home from work feeling like you've been run over by a truck and you realize the only way to make it any better is to pour yourself a good strong drink. Or, because you are pregnant you feel as though it would take nothing short of a fork lift to get you out of bed in the morning and realize the only other possible solution would be to drink a whole pot of coffee. Sorry sister - you're pregnant. Alanis could have written a whole album about the ironies of pregnancy. But you realize that at the end of the day these are only small sacrifices and that the real sacrifice will come when you squish a baby out of your who who.

There are many symptoms of pregnancy and some of them are experienced by almost everyone and some by only a select few. The symptoms of mommyhood are much different and while I don't know much about being a mother, I do know that the first symptom of mommyhood is experienced by every pregnant woman and most of the time it is on the first day you realize you are pregnant. This symptom is commonly known as worrying. Oh the things you find yourself worrying about. At first you mostly worry if your baby will be a "sticky baby" or if you will experience the heartache of a miscarriage. Then you move on to more severe worries like what if my baby has a birth defect, what if my baby has a weak heart, or what if my baby has both boy parts and girl parts. I mean the worrying can drive a person mad. We are worrying about our babies before they are even outside the womb! And once they are out I can't even begin to think about all of the things I'll worry about. One night I found myself creating hundreds of different scenarios in my head about the many things that could go wrong now and over the coming months. I seriously did this for at least three hours until I was sweating and basically losing my mind. I used to do this when I was a kid. At night I would worry that my parents would suddenly die and I would end up crying myself to sleep.

I do realize that worrying is a complete waste of time. I know in my heart that the Lord has a plan and there is no amount of worrying that can change that plan. And so each day is a struggle to surrender my worries and fears to the Lord and trust in Him with all of my heart. Because the Bible says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Motherly Intuition

I am happy to report that little Andrew is doing great. He is such a little man. Check him out :o)



I will admit that I have never ever been a baby holder. Before my nieces and nephews, I rarely appreciated the presence of children. Some people, like my friend Julie, are natural baby lovers. In fact, she is a borderline baby stealer. I often wondered if I would ever have that aching desire to have a child. But as each niece and nephew stole a little piece of my heart I found myself googooing and gagaing at random babies in the grocery store. The more I warmed up to the idea of kids, the more kids warmed up to me. They are like dogs in that they could totally sense my fear. I wasn't sold on having kids until sometime in the past five years probably. There is nothing more glorious than knowing that when I am babysitting and one of the kids (Avery) swipes three pops and is bouncing off the walls or when one of the kids (Taylor) dumps a whole bottle of strawberry conditioner on the bedspread when your back is turned, that the problem is ultimately Mommy's. But over the past year I started becoming obsessed with people's baby blogs and I even took a stranger up on the offer to hold her newborn, which was unheard of for me. I was thinking about babies all of the time and what ours would be like and if we would even be able to have one. I still wonder what our baby will be like, but now I will be able to find out in the near term!

Those of you who know me quite well know that I have recently become somewhat annoying about Zodiac signs. Once I started reading the full descriptions of each of the signs as they related to my friends and family I was astonished! Our due date is February 10 and that makes Baby T a possible Aquarius. Traditional traits are: friendly and humanitarian, honest and loyal, original and inventive, independent and intellectual. "Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity." I think that if we have a boy he will be the shy, sensitive, gentle and patient type and if we have a girl she will be the exuberant, lively, and exhibitionist type. Just judging by mommy and daddy's personalities :o)

In the very beginning of my pregnancy I woke up one morning and was SURE that the baby was a girl. I just had this intuition. I had dreams about taking care of Taylor and I still have dreams about playing with my baby girl. Everyone says, oh that is just because you want a girl. But if I am being truly honest with myself, I have always wanted all boys. When I finally decided that maybe I could have kids it was under the predisposition that I would have all boys and I could dress them in black sweatsuits and just let them rut around in the yard all day. I had a big brother to watch over me and so I figured that having a boy first would be the best way to go. Then again, Paul had two big sisters and they did a good job beating him up as a kid and they did an even better job beating everyone else up as he grew up. They provided secret service like protection. At the end of the day, in the hundreds of prayers I have prayed for this baby, not a single prayer involved the sex of the baby. I really pray only for a healthy and happy baby. But if we do have a girl, look at what fun we might have.

Baby's Heartbeat

We had another check-up on August 7. Paul took this video of the baby's heartbeat. A rapid 162. Cool, huh?



I haven't gained any weight so far, but it sure feels like it. I have been walking around with my jeans unbuttoned for the past week and just yesterday discovered the rubber band in my button hole trick. I haven't been doing a lot of working out even though everyone says it is safe to do so. I like to take Griff for a walk and do this video my neighbor Julianne let me borrow, but I haven't been doing anything too crazy. I quit running right away since my boobs hurt so bad and the rest of my workout videos are really hardcore. I have just been trying to eat healthy and get a move on whenever I can. Most people have told me that I have way more energy than a typical pregnant woman. I think I have only taken about two or three naps since I have been pregnant. That should count for something, right?

Also, I am beginning to wonder if I can feel the baby kicking. I noticed about three nights ago I felt something in my tummy that I just can't describe. It felt like something flicking me on the inside. I have felt it every day since then. The books say it is possible to feel the baby kicking as early as 14 weeks but that you are more likely to feel it closer to 18 weeks. I suppose I will know for sure if it was a kicking baby or a big gas bubble in a few weeks. It is exciting news nonetheless!

Baby Bump

I'm convinced that there probably isn't a better ice breaker in the world than telling someone with kids that you are pregnant. People love babies and people love pregnant women. I have been truly blessed so far with this pregnancy in that I have very few pregnancy symptoms. Unfortunately, what I have found is that people also love to hear about your pregnancy symptoms. The more you barf the better. I racked my brain trying to think of what my pregnancy symptoms were... no morning sickness, no pickles on my ice cream cravings, no crazy mood swings.

I guess I am speaking too soon as I am only 14 weeks along and things have plenty of time to go astray. One of the few things I have experienced so far is crazy dreams. I have a wild dream almost every night. The past three nights have been nightmares and always involve a murderer in a courtroom (from my stint on jury duty, maybe?). I have also had three or four terrible tension headaches. I used to get tension headaches from my way stressful job all of the time before I was preggo, but I could just pop a few Excedrin's to numb my brain. Now, I am stuck with them since I know two measly Tylenol won't begin to scratch the surface of these monsters. Paul has been the best giving me neck and back rubs, fetching ice packs in the middle of the night, fanning me while feeding me grapes :o) No really, he is the best husband in the world. Paul thinks I have cravings for junk food that I would have never put in my mouth prior to being pregnant. Okay, so the baby likes to have a McDonald's burger and a Little Squeezer's Hot and Ready in the same day once in a very great while, but other than that I think I have been eating pretty healthy for the little bambino's sake.

I suppose the only other notable sign of pregnancy is my growing belly. When we ordered the dresses for Kelly's wedding a while back, the lady said I was a size 10! I freaked out a little, but ordered it anyway. Turns out that the dress was falling off of me and I probably could have ordered the 6. I thought I'd try the dress on the other day considering the wedding is only a few weeks away and I needed to have the dress altered. Here is a picture... don't laugh.



The two little Asian ladies fitting me for my dress spoke to one another in rapid Chinese (no doubt about my fat tush) and told me that I had better not gain any weight or else they'd have to let the dress out. You got that baby?!

Here is a pic of my baby bump at 13 weeks:



It looks worse in the dress, right? Great. Pray that my belly gets big enough for the wedding to be easily recognized as a baby bump and not a beer belly, but not so big that I can't fit into my dress!

Holy Crap, There's a Baby in There!

When we first found out I was pregnant we were told that our first glimpse of the baby would be at our 20/21 week ultrasound. Luckily, we were given the opportunity to see the nugget a little earlier than planned. On July 27th, right after the Tithof annual camping trip, we went in for a quick ultrasound to help determine the due date. We were able to see both hemispheres of the brain, the heart, the arms and legs, and even five fingers! She asked if we were going to find out the sex and we told her "definitely." In that case, she said "I can see a little something between the legs there. It is too early to tell yet since girl parts can be very swollen, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was a boy." Yay! We don't care if the baby is a boy or a girl, but it was fun anyway. Andrew and Hank could have a little boy to play with.



It was exciting to see the baby in there. But I do have to say that the baby still sort of looks like a puppy. When I was holding Andrew, it reminded me how God is so truly AMAZING! Sometimes I can't believe there is a little baby growing inside my belly.

The ultrasound changed our due date from February 3 to February 10. This is a little closer to where we thought it should be so we are happy about that. Also, we decided against the quad test. I have heard too many horror stories about false positives/negatives. We decided to give it up to God. He has had this plan for us and for this baby long before we could ever imagine.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:15-16