Rocking My Big Boy

You have always refused to be rocked or cuddled to sleep, Abram.  I cannot read a full page of a board book before you do a full body twist/Jackie Chan roll and dash down the hallway.  At 17 months you have never listened to a full book.  At this same age your sister was reading Dickens.  Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but seriously, ever since you figured out how to walk you are the craziest dude. 

Well the other night we put you up in your crib with your paci and Blanky.  You were happy to lie down with them like always, but after about 20 minutes I heard you screaming.  I ran upstairs to find that you were having a Stage 5 meltdown.  I grabbed you out of your crib and brought you to the glider chair.  I wrapped you up tightly in Blanky like I used to do when you were a baby.  I put your pacifier in your mouth and gave you an extra one to hold, because that's how you like it.  I stuffed the little pacifier handle up and under your nose, because that's how you like it.  You are a creature of habit, and I know you well. 

I started singing to you, and instantly you stopped crying.  I sang you a whole mess of songs.  I sang and I sang and I sang until your breathing slowed from intense gasps to calm, steady draws.  You smiled at me.  I smiled at you.  I asked, Are you ready to go night night? and I was floored when you responded with a giant grin and a No.  I said, Do you want to rock with Mommy a little longer? You smiled and nodded your head Yes.  I couldn't believe it.  You understood what I said. 

So I sat there talking to you all about your day at daycare and my day at work.  I recalled our evening jumping on the trampoline, playing ninja, playing campfire.  I reminded you of how we walked uptown to get real ice cream, and how you would have eaten an entire gallon had we let you.  You have such a sweet tooth.  I told you about the bath you desperately needed the minute we returned home.  You smiled at me the whole time I spoke to you.  When I was done I said, Now it's time to go night night.  I brought you in your room, told you I loved you, and kissed my pointer and middle finger before touching them to your forehead - like I always do.  I closed your door and you slept through the night. 

I don't know what it was about that night, but I don't ever want to forget it.  It was the first time we ever had a real conversation where I realized you might actually understand what I was saying.  It was the first time you have ever let me rock you (even when you were a little baby).  I just loved it, and I just love you.