Shock Factor

Well well, like I said, we are going to have a baby girl. I have to admit right off hand that I am so excited, but at the same time I am so terrified! As I mentioned previously, I have always imagined myself having three boys. You throw them in the backyard and like a pack of wolves they practically raise themselves, right? Little girls both mesmerize me and terrify me. Paul and I have four nieces and we love, love, love them. They entertain the hell out of me. The problem is that they are so emotionally exhausting. For example, the first time that Oli came to visit our house she came up and said, "Aunt Cassie, I'm cold." I said, "Oh well we can turn the heat up," as we do keep our house at subzero temps in the winter to have more shoe money. She gave me a sad face and then Kendra said, "She isn't cold, she just wants a fire in the fireplace." Well why in the heck didn't she just say so?! I immediately began to realize why men so often buy all the wrong gifts and say all the wrong things.

I said before that I had this instinct right in the beginning that we were having a baby girl. I was telling people that I was 99% convinced that we were having a girl. I was just sure of it! I got so excited thinking about having a baby girl. Then during our first ultrasound the tech said she thought she could see something between the legs (turns out she could see a vagina) but that it was too early to tell since girl parts are very swollen that early. Regardless of her warning, I was then convinced that we were having a boy. So you can imagine my shock when the ultrasound tech said "It's a girl!" Paul and I didn't say a word for probably five minutes. We were so shocked. Paul looked to be enjoying the pictures from the ultrasound while my mind wandered off into la la land. My mind skipped past all of the cute, sweet years straight to the evil teenage years. I am so scared of a teenage girl! But then I was thinking that God gives us a good 10 to 15 years to fall in love with the soon-so-be brat before they turn sour.

By the end of the day we were giddy with excitement to know that baby is, in fact, a baby girl. It is so much fun to call her a "her" and "she." She feels so much more real now. I could cry just thinking about how much I love her already. I want to live the longest life just to be with her and watch her grow. And one day, when she grows out of the satanic teenage years, I get to look forward to having a new best friend. In the meantime, my heart swells with the kind of love that only mommies know.