Unsolicited Advice

I never understood why other moms are always offering their unsolicited advice about everything from pregnancy to potty training.  That is until I became a mom myself.  It turns out that most of the time you are so consumed with your role as a momma that you build up any new discovery as if it were the cure to cancer.  Usually you go the whole day feeling so overworked and unappreciated that you really just have to give yourself a monumental pat on the back as a reward.  So in an effort to refrain from attacking every expectant mother with my hard earned wisdom, I have decided to post some nuggets here so that I might reference them somewhere down the road. 

On Pregnancy

If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant I would first recommend watching the film "The Business of Being Born" then taking the classes for the Bradley Method of Childbirth.  Both are life changing.  I don't want to offend anyone by saying this, because I'm sure that having a baby in any way or fashion whether it involved medicine or surgery is one of the coolest things you will ever do in your life.  But I just feel that every woman should have the opportunity to really feel the power and the sense of accomplishment of having a baby naturally.  I will forever cherish the experience of the labor and delivery of Chloe.  I wish that labor and delivery for every woman, because when I was done and was holding Chloe in my arms I knew absolutely without doubt that if I could do that, I could do anything.

On Stuff You Need, Don't Need, Or Is Just So Adorable You Feel You Must Have It 

Don't Need: Wipe warmers dry your wipes out.  You don't need a wipe warmer.

Need: Robeez are pretty much the only shoes that will stay on those little baby feet. Chloe wore holes in the toes of hers. They are amazing.

Don't Need: It pains me to admit that my sister-in-law, Kendra, was so right about not needing to buy baby bedding. She said "you only need a tight fitted sheet and a blanket." But I wanted the whole set. Now, supposedly the baby bumper is linked to SIDS, so I ended up buying a breathable bumper, and the skirting becomes less and less noticeable as you lower the crib. And I have four or five softer quilts and blankets than the one that came with my bedding. So she was right, but I'd still buy that whole set if I had to do it over again... just because she told me not to.

So Adorable You Must Have It: Is there anything cuter than a baby wearing leg warmers? The answer is no. Baby Legs are the best!

So Adorable You Must Have It: If you think that the monthly pictures I took of Chloe are cute, I got the idea from my sister-in-law, Shantel. The stickers are from Picky Sticky. Yes, those were stickers. I did not order a new onesie every single month. I will vow here to myself and to my next child that I will not torture either of us with these stickers. Chloe HATES when I do these sticker pictures, and most of the time we both end up wanted to cry because we are so frustrated with one another. But Paul says that every thing I do with Chloe I have to do with our future kids... ugh.  They were pretty cute, though!

On Breastfeeding

Nursing covers are great in theory, but an oversized scarf works way better.  Plus, they go with your outfit and are far more discreet.

If you plan to breastfeed your baby and you don't have, like, massive double D boobs to start with, you should buy nursing camis rather than expensive, uncomfortable, ugly nursing bras.  You'll want to wear a cami over your nursing bra anyway, because your stomach is all lumpy and muffin toppy, which defeats the purpose (convenience) of a nursing bra.  That being said, you should buy one with padding and a loose fitting tummy at the onset, switching over to a tighter fitting cami once you have a fat free muffin top.

Breastfeeding is a skill that cannot be learned overnight.  It takes weeks to perfect, and if you really want to do it, you have to give yourself at least six weeks to decide if you love it or hate it.  You will almost surly hate it before then, and will almost surly love it after that, but it all depends.  You just have to give you and the baby a fair shot at it.  You don't get your driver's license without a little practice.


On Advice

Lastly, people will want to give you advice every single day.  I know I am stereotyping here, but in my experience the meanest people are usually "old" people, like, your mom's mom type of old people.  They will say things like "your place is in the home, now," "you aren't speaking enough to your baby," etc., and they will almost always compare your baby to some other baby.  Old people almost always leave you scratching your head, like, did that sweet, little, unsuspecting stranger just hint that my baby is going to turn out to be an axe-murderer because she goes to daycare and I failed to inform her that "mommy's going poopy now."  Er wait, I don't think women from that era poop.  Or fart.  But, I had better start feeding my baby cow's milk at age 2 months, because that is what she did, and look at her kids! 

The second meanest group of people is often just as unsuspecting, and I like to refer to them as "mean mommies."  They are the type to always compare, compare, compare.  They usually end up making you feel terrible because they lost their baby weight within two days; they get to stay home and they just loooove it; their baby sleeps 12 hours at night and takes two long naps during the day; their baby had 30 words when she was only supposed to have 5; and they had a natural child birth, and think you can do it too!!  Oops.  I guess we are all guilty once in a while.  You get the picture.

So whenever anyone gives you a piece of unsolicited advice, you have permission to immediately dismiss the advice, because chances are that the person giving them to you is so old, so mean, or so freaking tired that she doesn't even know what she is talking about anymore.  I think that fact that I wrote this post in January just realizing today that I never hit "post" is a true testament to just how tired one working mama can actually be.