Vacation

Paul, Chloe, Griffin, and I took a whole week of vacation during the week of Independence Day.  This is one of our favorite holidays and it always seems like the best time to take some time to relax.  We headed up to Hubbard Lake on Thursday night.  We thought starting the four hour trip around 7:00 p.m. would mean that Chloe would be sleeping in the car for at least 3/4 of the trip.  This, however, was not the case.  We spent about 2 hours listening to Elmo's World blaring on the DVD player, 1/2 an hour singing every single song we could think of from our childhood, 1/2 an hour listening to Chloe scream, and were finally blessed with sweet peace when she fell asleep for the last 1/2 hour.  Chloe wasted no time loving up to my Dad and pretty much ditching her parents.  Here she is enjoying one of many meals on Papa's lap.

This picture pretty much just defines Chloe.  Hot mess.  Hey I guess if anyone can pull off the bikini top, diaper, pink water shoe look it is Chloe.

Here we are eating some regular yogurt instead of Greek.  It happens to be a little runnier and it turns out Chloe is just not as skilled at eating runny yogurt.  She had quite an audience.

Here is a picture of Andrew and Chloe enjoying their afternoon snacks on these special chairs Grammy bought for them.  I can't help but notice how sweet and clean looking Chloe looks here.  What a rare moment.

This is more like it.  I had this terrible shopping experience at the "Alpena Mall," which consists primarily of a JCPenney.  There is a new mall down the road I guess.  It is called Wal-Mart.  I was looking for "the perfect 4th of July outfit" for Chloe.  Without getting all upset about the shopping trip I will just say that I never found it.  My Mom did find this lovely bikini at the new mall down the road.  Paul said Chloe could wear it as long as she doesn't think that an American flag is an acceptable article of clothing when she is a teenager.

Here is our second annual family photo at the lake.  You can't really see Chloe's face, but it is the only one where Paul is looking.  I guess my brother needed to wave a little squeaky toy at Paul for the pictures.

We had to cut our vacation a little short, because Chloe starts acting up after too much Papa time.  She refused to eat in her high chair, screamed bloody murder before bed, swatted at her Mama on several occasions, and was just being a little brat.  We left on Tuesday.  I'm always sad to go.  Hubbard Lake is so peaceful and I have so many great memories there.  I love having my family and friends around and relaxing at the lake.  We had a great time, but we were happy to have the rest of the week at home as a family.

Working Mama

I guess I should clarify a little about the term "mean mommy."  The term has gotten me in trouble before.  Luckily, I have only encountered the mean mommy a few times.  She wasn't a friend or family member, so if you are reading this I'm not talking about you.  In my experience you meet this fine specimen at a baby shower or bachelorette party or some other gathering involving a large group of women you don't really know. 

I should say that I realize that the examples I cited of things a mean mommy might say are not exactly offensive in casual conversation.  But if, for example, I have just said "I have been struggling lately being a working mother.  My job is so demanding, and then I come home to a pile of laundry and a messy house.  The last thing I want to do is ignore my baby and clean when I get so few hours with her.  I feel like I'm missing out on everything lately, and it feels terrible to pay another woman to raise my child," there are only a few ways to respond.  One is to just nod your head with an understanding "mmmhmm."  Another is to say, "I have been feeling that way, too.  Have you tried..." Or, "I don't know what you are going through since I stay home with my kids, but if it makes you feel any better, it is hard for me, too." Okay, what you don't say is "Oh, well I say home with my kids and I just loooove it.  And one day a week I drop them off with my mother so that I can have some me time."  It's just ill timed. I mean, you can say that if you want to be a huge bitch and you want me to write about you on my blog, but this mothering business is hard, and we need to stick together. 

I have never written on here about how it feels to be a working mother, and I'm not sure if I will ever be able to put it into words.  It is so complex, and it is a constant struggle to find the balance between work and life.  It doesn't matter how much our family chips away at the mold of the traditional family by having a working mother who handles the bills and the investments, because at the end of the day I'm still the mommy and the wife.  I still care for the home and for the child.  Every minute that I spend working, cleaning the house, getting my hair did, paying bills... posting on my blog, is a minute I'm not spending with Chloe.  And the guilt associated with that fact is monumental.

Someday when Chloe is a grown woman, my hope is that she appreciates my decision to continue to support our family financially.  At the same time, I hope she understands how hard it was for me to drop her off at daycare every morning, and how many times I have cried in the car on my way to work. I hope she knows that my heart still has a scar from that time she chose Melissa over me, and how many hours I have spent in prayer seeking comfort in my decision.  I hope the social skills Chloe gains from interacting with her daycare "siblings" overshadow her bouts with Roseola, pink eye, and Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease.  I hope that Chloe remembers squealing and running to the door to greet her Grammy every Thursday.  I hope she has fond memories of playing with her Grammy, like I have with mine.

I guess what I hope most for Chloe is that if she decides to become a mother someday she knows that it is just as okay to stay home with her kids as it is to continue to pursue her professional goals.  Maybe it is possible to somehow do both.  I say this now not being 100% convinced that continuing to work is even a fraction as healthy as staying home.  I just hope that it is.

And if she decides to stay home with her kids I hope she reads my old blog posts and realizes that whether you are a working mother or a stay at home mother, both options are difficult, both options are rewarding.  What is important is that you commit yourself fully in the time you are given to spend with your child.  In fact, since the day I have become a mother I have become so pro-Chloe that the concept of "me" is pretty much a chapter in history.  Most days Old Cassie wouldn't recognize Mom Cassie in brown flats and a black purse.  And OMG, has it been, like, three months since she last got highlights? 

For now I take comfort in my decision.  Between my Mom and Melissa, God has placed into my hands the best alternatives to my staying home.  I'm trusting what seems like the perfect plan - one whose hardships keep me constantly seeking the Lord.

What's Chloe Been Up To?

Oddly enough, Chloe's current interests coincide with Griffin's.  One of their favorite things to do together is watch birds, squirrels, cars, and people from the enclosed porch window.  Chloe stands on this safe, secure rocking chair, and Griffin stands beside her.  Chloe flaps her "wings" whenever she sees a bird, and Griffin just goes batshit crazy.



If you are wondering how I get that bitchin' ponytail in Chloe's hair every morning I usually trick her just like this.  "Chloe, do you see any birds?  Do you see any cars?" And then I hurdle Griffin and chase Chloe to her perch with a comb and rubber band in hand.   

Chloe loves playing with Fisher, our next door neighbor.  I have this one really cute picture of the both of them smiling at the camera, but Fisher has a crossed eye in it for some reason, and I didn't want to post a funny picture of his sweet face on here.  I posted this one instead, because it shows off Chloe's cute little muscular frame.  I wish I could pull off the spandex look!  What you don't see here is the sweat rolling off my face as I chased Chloe around Festival as she jammed those itsy bitsy rocks into her mouth. I can't get this kid to eat a macaroni, but rocks? Sand? Griffin's ears? Coins?  These are luxuries.



 Chloe's ultimate favorite thing to do is play with Griffin.  I say "play," but this mostly involves Chloe kissing, hugging, choking, biting, and just generally mauling Griffin to death.  And clearly, from this picture here, he loves it.

Griffin is such a good dog.  I can't say it enough.  He should win an award.  Every now and then I will catch him actually playing back with her.  All he does is let her chase him around the kitchen table, but he waits for her to catch up and then he runs away, waits for her, runs away.  It's cute. 

 If this doesn't make your heart melt well... then you must be a cat person.

Here are some pictures of Chloe at the beach.  It was going to be 90+ degrees at home that day so we gathered up some friends and headed to the beach, where it was a balmy 60 degrees with high wind.  It was freezing and sandy and miserable for the first few hours.  Chloe ate a lot of sand and cried when we put her in the water.  I'm not convinced that she is quite ready for the beach yet.



 And here is a picture of my sad baby.  We had to bring Chloe to the ER last weekend.  She had a fever of over 104 degrees.  She was miserable.  Here Paul is tying Chloe into her gown.  This is right before he tied her hair into the gown and she got so upset that she threw up.  She was already pretty upset from being probed in the tush while the nurse took her temperature.  It turns out she had a case of Herpangina (insert mature joke here), which goes by the equally appalling name of Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease.  It is a virus that is going around town these days, and the doctor had already diagnosed three cases that morning.  I'm happy to report that Chloe is feeling better now after several doses of Motrin and Tylenol.



Unsolicited Advice

I never understood why other moms are always offering their unsolicited advice about everything from pregnancy to potty training.  That is until I became a mom myself.  It turns out that most of the time you are so consumed with your role as a momma that you build up any new discovery as if it were the cure to cancer.  Usually you go the whole day feeling so overworked and unappreciated that you really just have to give yourself a monumental pat on the back as a reward.  So in an effort to refrain from attacking every expectant mother with my hard earned wisdom, I have decided to post some nuggets here so that I might reference them somewhere down the road. 

On Pregnancy

If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant I would first recommend watching the film "The Business of Being Born" then taking the classes for the Bradley Method of Childbirth.  Both are life changing.  I don't want to offend anyone by saying this, because I'm sure that having a baby in any way or fashion whether it involved medicine or surgery is one of the coolest things you will ever do in your life.  But I just feel that every woman should have the opportunity to really feel the power and the sense of accomplishment of having a baby naturally.  I will forever cherish the experience of the labor and delivery of Chloe.  I wish that labor and delivery for every woman, because when I was done and was holding Chloe in my arms I knew absolutely without doubt that if I could do that, I could do anything.

On Stuff You Need, Don't Need, Or Is Just So Adorable You Feel You Must Have It 

Don't Need: Wipe warmers dry your wipes out.  You don't need a wipe warmer.

Need: Robeez are pretty much the only shoes that will stay on those little baby feet. Chloe wore holes in the toes of hers. They are amazing.

Don't Need: It pains me to admit that my sister-in-law, Kendra, was so right about not needing to buy baby bedding. She said "you only need a tight fitted sheet and a blanket." But I wanted the whole set. Now, supposedly the baby bumper is linked to SIDS, so I ended up buying a breathable bumper, and the skirting becomes less and less noticeable as you lower the crib. And I have four or five softer quilts and blankets than the one that came with my bedding. So she was right, but I'd still buy that whole set if I had to do it over again... just because she told me not to.

So Adorable You Must Have It: Is there anything cuter than a baby wearing leg warmers? The answer is no. Baby Legs are the best!

So Adorable You Must Have It: If you think that the monthly pictures I took of Chloe are cute, I got the idea from my sister-in-law, Shantel. The stickers are from Picky Sticky. Yes, those were stickers. I did not order a new onesie every single month. I will vow here to myself and to my next child that I will not torture either of us with these stickers. Chloe HATES when I do these sticker pictures, and most of the time we both end up wanted to cry because we are so frustrated with one another. But Paul says that every thing I do with Chloe I have to do with our future kids... ugh.  They were pretty cute, though!

On Breastfeeding

Nursing covers are great in theory, but an oversized scarf works way better.  Plus, they go with your outfit and are far more discreet.

If you plan to breastfeed your baby and you don't have, like, massive double D boobs to start with, you should buy nursing camis rather than expensive, uncomfortable, ugly nursing bras.  You'll want to wear a cami over your nursing bra anyway, because your stomach is all lumpy and muffin toppy, which defeats the purpose (convenience) of a nursing bra.  That being said, you should buy one with padding and a loose fitting tummy at the onset, switching over to a tighter fitting cami once you have a fat free muffin top.

Breastfeeding is a skill that cannot be learned overnight.  It takes weeks to perfect, and if you really want to do it, you have to give yourself at least six weeks to decide if you love it or hate it.  You will almost surly hate it before then, and will almost surly love it after that, but it all depends.  You just have to give you and the baby a fair shot at it.  You don't get your driver's license without a little practice.


On Advice

Lastly, people will want to give you advice every single day.  I know I am stereotyping here, but in my experience the meanest people are usually "old" people, like, your mom's mom type of old people.  They will say things like "your place is in the home, now," "you aren't speaking enough to your baby," etc., and they will almost always compare your baby to some other baby.  Old people almost always leave you scratching your head, like, did that sweet, little, unsuspecting stranger just hint that my baby is going to turn out to be an axe-murderer because she goes to daycare and I failed to inform her that "mommy's going poopy now."  Er wait, I don't think women from that era poop.  Or fart.  But, I had better start feeding my baby cow's milk at age 2 months, because that is what she did, and look at her kids! 

The second meanest group of people is often just as unsuspecting, and I like to refer to them as "mean mommies."  They are the type to always compare, compare, compare.  They usually end up making you feel terrible because they lost their baby weight within two days; they get to stay home and they just loooove it; their baby sleeps 12 hours at night and takes two long naps during the day; their baby had 30 words when she was only supposed to have 5; and they had a natural child birth, and think you can do it too!!  Oops.  I guess we are all guilty once in a while.  You get the picture.

So whenever anyone gives you a piece of unsolicited advice, you have permission to immediately dismiss the advice, because chances are that the person giving them to you is so old, so mean, or so freaking tired that she doesn't even know what she is talking about anymore.  I think that fact that I wrote this post in January just realizing today that I never hit "post" is a true testament to just how tired one working mama can actually be.

Easter Post & A Random Chloe Update

We had a great Easter 2011.  My parents came down Thursday night and watched Chloe on Friday while I was at work.  Chloe was so happy to have both her Grammy and Papa at her house for almost three full days!  On Saturday we went out for breakfast and then my Mom and I went shopping for some bigger clothes for Little Miss since she seems to have hit a growth spurt.  Paul and my Dad made a huge feast including spinach salad, shrimp bisque, prime rib, and twice baked potatoes.  I made a carrot cake cheesecake for dessert.  It was such a delicious meal, but Chloe didn't want anything to do with it.  She has eight teeth coming in right now and she isn't interested much in food unless it is a chicken finger drenched in ketchup.  Sunday morning we went to church and then Chloe got to play with her Easter goodies.  Here are a couple of pics:

While I am at it I might as well just post a few pictures of Chloe doing what she does best: climbing. This is what she does in a life sized grocery cart, as well.

On the topic of climbing, Chloe walks up and down the stairs upright and face forward now.  She has been for about a month now.  I was so worried at first and would always wait at the bottom of the stairs for her.  She fell down a couple of stairs twice, but it was on the carpeted part and she was fine.  No amount of coercing can get her to change her mind about going down those stairs like a big girl, so we just let her. 

She has been given a fair amount of free range around the house now, and she seems happier and less mischievous because of it.  We even let Chloe play and watch Elmo (her favorite) in the basement for a couple of minutes at a time while we are up in the kitchen or running to the bathroom. 
Speaking of Elmo, Chloe is totally obsessed with him and Sesame Street.  I always loved that show as a kid so my Mom started letting her watch it.  She gets to watch it every day now and she starts dancing and clapping whenever it comes on.  I actually think it is pretty funny to watch, and I love cuddling up with her and flipping it on. 

She can almost say Elmo and Big Bird.  Chloe isn't too interested in talking, though.  She says Mama, Dada, Papa, Dolly Doll (my parents' dog), uh oh, thank you, woof woof, moo moo, and tickle tickle.  Her favorite things to do are tickle tickle people, dance, and climb on Griffin.  Her tickle tickle is so cute because it is actually sounds more like lithel lithel.  She dances to everything from songs on the radio to songs on commercials to songs playing on her toys.  She'll stop everything just to dance.  Her moves are so cute and usually involve bouncing her butt as she spins in a circle while swinging her arms.  Chloe is just so fun right now!  Everything just keeps getting more fun as she grows and I'm so grateful for that, because it is easy to get depressed about how fast she is growing up. 

Dirt Café

Chloe has recently acquired a taste for the finer things in life.  In addition to her love of dog bowl water, dog toys, baby wipes, Kleenex, and any type of food that has fallen on the floor, her most recent craving is for dirt. It does have many of the same qualities as sugar - smooth, crystaly... wonderful - except it is missing a few important qualities like being sweet and highly digestible. Nevertheless she loves to sneak a mouth full whenever we aren't looking. (Or, in the spirit of documenting this phase, whenever we are looking.)



 

 



The Birds. THE BIRDS!

I feel like a murderer. 

I'm seriously considering taking down the wreath.  I wasn't even really considering it until my Mom started with her scare tactics.  First of all, we spent a lot of money on that wreath.  And she made that bow by hand.  And the birds will poop all over the wreath.  And birds have lice.  And the lice will come in your windows AND BURROW INTO YOUR SKIN. 

Okay, so she didn't say that last part, but when she said birds have lice I have to admit that I pointed my finger at her and laughed.  Birds have lice.  That doesn't even make sense.  I was fully prepared to make fun of her here, but before I did I did a quick Google search "wild birds lice" only to find out that wild birds can have lice, and when the birds leave the lice will crawl through your windows AND BURROW INTO YOUR SKIN!  I only looked at one website, and it had less credibility than Wikipedia, but I'm going with it. 

So before the birds make up an official letterhead and claim primary residence exemption, I'm going to have Paul take down the wreath.  As of this weekend we will no longer be those people.  In the meantime I'm going to be feeling terrible for possibly and probably killing a few baby birds.  I don't even like birds.  I swear, becoming a mother makes you sentimental as hell.