The First Two Weeks

Paul called my parents right when we were admitted to the hospital. They made it to the hospital about 15 minutes after Chloe was born. Unfortunately, Grandma and Grandma T were still visiting Henry in Texas and they weren't able to meet Chloe until February 2. My mom held Chloe from about 3:00 am until about 6:00 am on Sunday morning before she left to get some sleep. When we woke up Aunt Kendra was the first to arrive. After that, the visitors kept rolling in. We were so exhausted, but were so excited to share Chloe with our closest friends and family. The hospital stay was nice. I elected to stay the additional night because I quite enjoyed being catered to by nurses and having the world's most qualified babysitters watch Chloe at night. We left the hospital on Tuesday around 11:30 am. We got Chloe all dressed up in her cute going home outfit, which she yakked on shortly afterwards. I sat in the back seat with her on the way home even though I said I wouldn't.







My parents stayed at our house Tuesday night through Thursday night. My parents were amazing. My mom cleaned my house and did the laundry that was piling up in the basement and my dad cooked us dinner each night. I never had a chance to "nest" and so the help was greatly needed and appreciated. The first few nights with Chloe at home were a struggle. She screamed bloody murder and refused to sleep in her crib. We played musical chairs sticking her in her crib, swing, bouncy seat, and back to her crib. Ultimately, she just wanted to be held. I was a nervous wreck and was terrified to let her sleep alone. Each time we sat her in her crib I found myself staring at the monitor with my eyes glazed over in a cold sweat. She is just the world's loudest sleeper. She grunts and makes choking noises and it is just enough to drive a new parent bonkers. When morning came, Chloe fell asleep nicely and remained a peaceful little angel until nightfall.

We struggled a lot with breastfeeding the minute we brought her home. Because the books say to do so I was trying to feed Chloe every 2-3 hours. This resulted in her again screaming bloody murder. When she slept she would make sad faces and I think she was having nightmares of me sticking my big boob in her face when she wasn't even hungry! Once I figured out that she wanted to eat every four hours and the world didn't stop turning and my baby didn't in fact die from doing so, the struggles of breastfeeding eventually worked themselves out. I can see how so many women give up breastfeeding in the early weeks of infancy. It's just downright hard. But in the end I believe the benefits outweigh the struggles. While I'm not one of those crazy advocates of breastfeeding, I do think you'd be hard pressed to find a doctor that didn't agree that "breast is best," and who doesn't want to give their child every possible chance to be the healthiest and smartest baby she can be? I can tell you one thing, though. I don't think we will end up saving one dollar from breastfeeding. This kid poops about every hour and we have gone through more diapers than I could have ever imagined!

I would like to note here that I did have a postpartum day the Wednesday after we brought Chloe home. I didn't cry or do anything too crazy, but I snapped on Paul a good four or five times. He'd say something as innocent as "Hey Cass" and I would respond with a "WHAT PAUL?@?!@?" Something like that. In my mind I remember thinking "okaaay psycho!" but I just couldn't help it. Thankfully, it was business as usual by the next day!

After my parents left, Paul and I decided to have Chloe sleep in the bassinet in her Pack n' Play. We have it set up downstairs because it has a changing table and bassinet. It is a nice to have a little work station downstairs when the stitches in your girl parts make it particularly unfortunate feeling to go up and down the stairs. As a result, we ended up sleeping on the couch for the first two weeks of Chloe's life. It turns out that you don't care where you sleep when your newborn baby is sleeping four hours in a row (yes, that includes letting her sleep on your chest despite the warnings). The past two nights, however, Paul and I have graduated to our bed. Chlo is sleeping in her swing and she had one good night and one bad night. If she sleeps all day you can pretty much guarantee that she is going to be up all night. But sometimes she is fussy during the day and we reap the rewards at night.

Chloe got her first sponge bath the Thursday we brought her home. She HATED it! She screamed the entire time and I felt pretty bad for her. She had her first real bath on Monday and I had to laugh at how much she LOVED it. She just sat there in the water all spread eagle with her body completely limp and relaxed. She could have bathed all day.

For those of you wondering how our first born is handling our new addition, Griffin seems pretty indifferent. It was almost like he expected us to come home with Chloe. He likes to sit on the same couch as her and be near her, and he likes to check that she is still in her bassinet. But other than that it is pretty much business as usual. He has only been jealous so far of my dad holding Chloe because my dad is Griffin's favorite human being in the world. He does get a little annoyed when she refuses to sleep at night, but who can blame him?



Paul has been home for two weeks and is going back to work starting tomorrow. I'm not sure how single mothers come home alone and take care of a baby. I could barely get off of the couch for the first week. So far we have been just enjoying our time together as a family. We spend most of our time downstairs just napping, watching TV, and playing Call of Duty while the baby sleeps. It sounds rough, I know, but we need the relaxing days to balance out the stressful nights. I have loved these past two weeks and I'm sad that Paul has to go back to work.

How Could I Forget?

The thing I failed to mention in my last post is probably the most important part of our successful natural birth. I would have never ever been able to handle the contractions without the help of my confident, calm husband. I remember thinking that there is no way in the whole world I could give birth to Chloe without my husband right by my side. He swears he didn't do anything, of course, but he was really a blessing. The Bradley Method is actually known as The Bradley Method: Husband Coached Childbirth. I was nervous about having Paul as my coach given the amount of joking around we did in our classes. When it came down to it, Paul had his books out and was studying each sign of labor. He was by my side reminding me to stay calm and breathe deeply through each contraction. He filled my water bottle and made sure I kept eating. He reminded me to switch positions every half hour to an hour. He was amazing.

Paul actually wanted to go to the hospital much earlier in the day, but I wouldn't budge. I didn't intend to stay at home through transition and really just wanted to go to the hospital when I went into hard labor. I realize that dilating to nine centimeters unsupervised at home isn't the safest thing in the world. Luckily, Paul knew the signs of transition and was able to rush me to the hospital just in time.

As I was going though the labor my heart swelled with more love for Paul than I have ever known. But that changed when I saw him holding our little girl for the first time. My heart grew ten times larger on January 24!

The Birth Story

I'm writing this in a period of extreme exhaustion, but I feel I should put the story into words while it is still fresh in my mind. It's not my best work, but Miss Chloe has her nights and days mixed up and this mommy is pooped!

I will spare the details for some of the more squeamish, but we saw early signs of labor beginning Sunday, January 17. The symptoms continued through most of the week increasing dramatically on Thursday. I had light contractions for most of the night on Thursday night that stopped completely by 8:00 am Friday morning. We rescheduled our 4:00 pm appointment to an 11:30 am appointment just to ensure everything was okay. The doctor concluded that I was 90-100% effaced and 1-2 centimeters dilated. He was nearly certain that we would be having a baby over the weekend.

We stopped in quickly following the appointment to meet Baby Miles and Baby Josephine from Bradley and then it was go time.



I worked frantically until 7:00 pm to finish my last job for work. I did laundry and tried to get my clothes around for my hospital bag. Paul worked all day long packing the bags and prepping for labor. I went to bed immediately after finishing work. I had very light contractions that hardly woke me from 8:00 pm to 2:30 am. I woke at 2:30 am at the peak of a contraction and decided that labor was immanent. I jumped into the tub to relax and Paul came in to start timing contractions. The contractions were very uncomfortable, but I nothing that we couldn't breathe through. Paul was amazing and helped me to relax. After the bath we moved downstairs and breathed through contractions while watching some of the weirdest late night television. Do you know that Animal Planet has a four hour program called Puppy Bowl that consists entirely of puppies playing in a makeshift football arena?

The contractions were very sporadic, which is a sign of early first stage labor. They would come anywhere from four to fifteen minutes apart and would last for a minute. It wasn't terrible, but I told Paul that I could see how even if the contractions never got more painful than what they were, if they were one on top of another this whole labor thing would be very painful! I ate a lot and drank a lot of water the whole morning. We went for a walk around 12:00 to try to get things moving a little faster. I sat on the birthing ball, did pelvic rocks, did squats, and almost any other upright position I could think of, but the timing and strength of the contractions stayed pretty sporadic. Looking back, I didn't admit to all of the contractions. If they were short or didn't really hurt THAT bad I never mentioned them to my loyal coach and timer. Apparently, every contraction counts.



I think around 6:00 pm I started having back labor. This, I will admit, hurt like a mother. I remember thinking that the contractions wouldn't hurt much at all if I didn't have the intense pain in my lower back. Paul would apply counter pressure through the contraction and this relieved a lot of the pain. We ordered Chinese food and watched Titanic. Around 8:00 pm I decided that I was very tired and that we should try to get some rest. We went up to bed and Paul fell asleep almost immediately. I tried to work through the contractions alone, but it was impossible. I got up and took what was probably my sixth bath of the day. It was about 9:30 pm when I got out and asked Paul to come back downstairs.

From 9:30 pm to 11:00 pm my contractions grew increasingly painful, but were still a good four to six minutes apart. My last five contractions at home were so painful that I remembered thinking "Oh God, if this is 'hard labor' then I am screwed and am going to have to get an epidural." I never vocalized my self doubt, but Paul was watching for every sign of transition. I started whimpering and tearing up through my contractions and then I started shaking. Paul had been begging to take me to the hospital for a couple of hours and finally he demanded we call the doctor. Around 11:15 we left for the hospital.

On the way to the hospital I remember having only one contraction, but Paul said I had three. I was out of it and very high on my own endorphins and hormones. I walked into the emergency room area in a trance while Paul parked the car. I was embarrassed because the contractions had stopped completely. I walked the whole way to the birthing area and signed in. I thought the nurses would snicker as I headed to triage to get "checked." I told my nurse that I was probably still dilated to a two and that my husband made me come in. When she checked me her eyes widened and she said "Honey, you are at a nine and the only thing holding this baby in is your bag of waters." Instantly, my mood changed. I was on cloud nine. She kept praising me and said I did such a good job. She said the hard part was over and I was just about ready to hold my baby!

We headed straight for the birthing room where the resident confirmed I was at nine centimeters and 100% effaced. He suggested breaking the bag of waters, which is a big Bradley no no. I said I'd wait to try to dilate naturally, but after four more contractions I gave in. The doctor broke the bag of waters and said I could begin pushing immediately. For the next ten or so contractions I pushed, but not very effectively. Finally, I figured out that I had to "push like I was pooping." My nurse was awesome and she helped me identify contractions and where and how to push. When I finally pushed properly the whole room (two nurses, a resident, and my OB) started cheering. They dimmed the lights and got ready to catch the baby. Five to ten sets of contractions later, I was holding Chole Amelia Tithof! The pushing was intense. I really can't even describe the feeling.

The craziest thing about the whole birth was that I was so so high on my own endorphins and hormones that I was just freakishly calm. I was apologizing to the doctor for waking her and I was making inside jokes with Paul. The nurses kept saying "we wish everyone was as nice as you." Haha! I didn't yell or cuss or anything like in the movies. Everything was just serene. Anyone who knows me (including me and Paul) was probably expecting the total opposite.




Of all the things I have done in my life, giving birth to Chloe Amelia is definitely the most amazing. I know I had a lot of people praying for me and I know that we were blessed to have such a smooth labor. I know I have a high pain tolerance and that giving birth naturally is NOT for everyone, but I would encourage anyone to try it with the proper preparation. Feeling that kind of pain - pain with the most rewarding purpose of a lifetime - there are no words. And it really, truly was not.that.bad.

Now the stitches, on the other hand... OUCH!!! I complained the whole time they stitched. I tried to focus on the baby, but holy crap it hurt. The after pain of labor, stiches, body aches, etc. for me has been the worst part. No one tells you how bad everything hurts AFTER you have the baby.

Anyway, I had better go feed baby and take a nap with her. More to come...

Welcome to the World

Chloe Amelia





Born January 24, 2010 at 1:08 am
6 pounds 8 ounces
19 inches

Say What?!?!

Because there is no great way to say this, I am going to come right out with it. At my doctor's appointment yesterday I weighed in at a remarkable 174 pounds. Never, no way, not ever did I think I would gain over 35 pounds, but here I am gaining a hefty three pounds per week for an overall weight gain thus far of nearly 40 pounds. The nurse tried to be nice and said "Well, it was the holidays." A. It wasn't the holidays. B. How about just saying "It's okay. You're 9 months pregnant"? Then she asks if I have been eating a lot. The funny thing is that I have been eating less and less as my belly gets bigger and bigger. I breathe so heavily when I try to eat that I sound like a little fat kid. Even when I am starving I can only eat one small serving of anything because there just simply is no more room in my belly for food. I've been struggling to get my protein intake. But this does explain why it feels like the bones in my feet might just shatter at any minute. And since my belly and boobs are the only things that seem to be packing on the pounds, I am becoming fairly certain that we are going to have a big baby.

The doctor did confirm that Chloe is in the head down position. Yay! We had to have the Group B Strep Test and will find out the results next week. Please pray that I do not carry the bacteria, because while it is very treatable, I would be tethered to an IV the entire time I'm in the hospital.

36 Week Update

Paul and I toured the birthing center at St. Mary's Hospital yesterday night. There were tons of people on the tour and the nurses were very surprised. Let's hope we don't all show up on the same day. The birthing center was on the top floor of the hospital and the rooms actually had beautiful views despite the hospital's location in a shadier area of Grand Rapids. We were told where to park and register. We saw the triage rooms where they decide if you should actually be admitted to the hospital. These are not very private and so I am happy to be educated enough to hopefully know when I am definitely in labor. The birthing rooms are private and feature a whirlpool tub, birthing ball, chair for dad, and everything else you could imagine. The rooms were very nice and so were all of the nurses.

The only problem I foresee is the brutal walk from the parking lot. It was about a five minute speed walk, which I think would translate into a much longer in-labor walk. They do have wheelchairs at all of the entrances, but since we are planning to labor at home for a while until the contractions are fairly close together and consistent, I can see how the trip to the nurse's station will be a long one.

After the tour we headed down to the first floor to see if we could squeeze our way into the infant CPR class. The class is only held once per month and I tried to register earlier this week. The scheduler told me the class was full for the next few months. When we showed up to the class the nurse said she was surprised someone would tell us that because she only had three couples signed up. So we were lucky enough to learn infant/child CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver last night. The process is actually very easy, and I feel so much better now that I know how to do it; however, we pray that we never need to use our new skill.

I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions for about a week. Some women say these are painful, but mine are not painful at all. Actually, it is hard to distinguish whether she is kicking me and leaving her legs extended or if I am having a contraction. It is obvious if I feel my belly because it goes from having the give of a volleyball to the give of a rock. I get them mostly when I am stressed at work and occasionally when baby is kicking around too hard. My belly has not dropped and I do not feel like her head is deeply engaged in my pelvis, so I am fairly certain that labor will not be occurring "any day now." Besides, I need the rest of this month at least to finish some projects at work and get the nursery finished!

I haven't had much swelling. I did take off my wedding ring and instead put on an old ring Paul bought for me. Nothing like being eight months pregnant without a wedding band! I didn't really NEED to take the ring off yet, but I started to get very paranoid that I would wake up one morning with sausage fingers and it would be stuck.

My belly, on the other hand, continues to SWELL! I have been getting so angry lately because I spill everything on my belly. Just yesterday I was at work and I was eating a piece of chocolate. Somehow I ended up getting chocolate all down the front of my shirt. Great. As if I don't feel like a hippopotamus already! Speaking of that, we were in the grocery store last weekend when I noticed some delicious donuts in the bakery section. Paul's friends were coming over and were planning to stay the night so I yelled to Paul, "Hey, do you want some donuts?" Well, unfortunately about five people stopped, looked at my belly, and smirked. Damn! How cliche! Then about ten minutes later the lady at the deli asks me "Well, did you get your donuts? He can't exactly tell you 'no' right?" I'm glad my big pregnant belly is so amusing to so many people.

Bradley Method

We finished up our last of twelve Bradley classes on December 7th. The class was every Monday and lasted a full two hours. We ended up meeting four great couples and had a lot of fun at every class. Most nights we spent a good 25%-50% of the time cracking jokes and goofing around while our instructor, Lisa, struggled to capture our full attention.

Paul and I discovered that we are far more immature than we originally thought as neither of us could watch a live birth video without laughing or looking away. It didn't help that most of the labor videos we watched were filmed in the 70's and 80's. The men were always shirtless with bushy beards and the women were rocking the Amazon down below. One time Paul and I were holding our laughter back so hard that I ended up crying and had to practice my deep breathing in order to calm down before Lisa flipped on the lights.

But in the end I honestly believe I am more educated about labor and delivery than most women who have already given birth. In my mind I have a clear picture of my perfect labor and my worst nightmare labor, and I'm just hoping for something in the middle. I think that in the end we learned how to be our own advocates. You can't ask for what you want when you don't know what you want. I know that God is always in control, but now I feel that I can help make the decisions that will lead us to a natural birth the way God intended. It won't be long now before we put all of our knowledge to the test!