Paul and I toured the birthing center at St. Mary's Hospital yesterday night. There were tons of people on the tour and the nurses were very surprised. Let's hope we don't all show up on the same day. The birthing center was on the top floor of the hospital and the rooms actually had beautiful views despite the hospital's location in a shadier area of Grand Rapids. We were told where to park and register. We saw the triage rooms where they decide if you should actually be admitted to the hospital. These are not very private and so I am happy to be educated enough to hopefully know when I am definitely in labor. The birthing rooms are private and feature a whirlpool tub, birthing ball, chair for dad, and everything else you could imagine. The rooms were very nice and so were all of the nurses.
The only problem I foresee is the brutal walk from the parking lot. It was about a five minute speed walk, which I think would translate into a much longer in-labor walk. They do have wheelchairs at all of the entrances, but since we are planning to labor at home for a while until the contractions are fairly close together and consistent, I can see how the trip to the nurse's station will be a long one.
After the tour we headed down to the first floor to see if we could squeeze our way into the infant CPR class. The class is only held once per month and I tried to register earlier this week. The scheduler told me the class was full for the next few months. When we showed up to the class the nurse said she was surprised someone would tell us that because she only had three couples signed up. So we were lucky enough to learn infant/child CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver last night. The process is actually very easy, and I feel so much better now that I know how to do it; however, we pray that we never need to use our new skill.
I have been having Braxton Hicks contractions for about a week. Some women say these are painful, but mine are not painful at all. Actually, it is hard to distinguish whether she is kicking me and leaving her legs extended or if I am having a contraction. It is obvious if I feel my belly because it goes from having the give of a volleyball to the give of a rock. I get them mostly when I am stressed at work and occasionally when baby is kicking around too hard. My belly has not dropped and I do not feel like her head is deeply engaged in my pelvis, so I am fairly certain that labor will not be occurring "any day now." Besides, I need the rest of this month at least to finish some projects at work and get the nursery finished!
I haven't had much swelling. I did take off my wedding ring and instead put on an old ring Paul bought for me. Nothing like being eight months pregnant without a wedding band! I didn't really NEED to take the ring off yet, but I started to get very paranoid that I would wake up one morning with sausage fingers and it would be stuck.
My belly, on the other hand, continues to SWELL! I have been getting so angry lately because I spill everything on my belly. Just yesterday I was at work and I was eating a piece of chocolate. Somehow I ended up getting chocolate all down the front of my shirt. Great. As if I don't feel like a hippopotamus already! Speaking of that, we were in the grocery store last weekend when I noticed some delicious donuts in the bakery section. Paul's friends were coming over and were planning to stay the night so I yelled to Paul, "Hey, do you want some donuts?" Well, unfortunately about five people stopped, looked at my belly, and smirked. Damn! How cliche! Then about ten minutes later the lady at the deli asks me "Well, did you get your donuts? He can't exactly tell you 'no' right?" I'm glad my big pregnant belly is so amusing to so many people.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Bradley Method
We finished up our last of twelve Bradley classes on December 7th. The class was every Monday and lasted a full two hours. We ended up meeting four great couples and had a lot of fun at every class. Most nights we spent a good 25%-50% of the time cracking jokes and goofing around while our instructor, Lisa, struggled to capture our full attention.
Paul and I discovered that we are far more immature than we originally thought as neither of us could watch a live birth video without laughing or looking away. It didn't help that most of the labor videos we watched were filmed in the 70's and 80's. The men were always shirtless with bushy beards and the women were rocking the Amazon down below. One time Paul and I were holding our laughter back so hard that I ended up crying and had to practice my deep breathing in order to calm down before Lisa flipped on the lights.
But in the end I honestly believe I am more educated about labor and delivery than most women who have already given birth. In my mind I have a clear picture of my perfect labor and my worst nightmare labor, and I'm just hoping for something in the middle. I think that in the end we learned how to be our own advocates. You can't ask for what you want when you don't know what you want. I know that God is always in control, but now I feel that I can help make the decisions that will lead us to a natural birth the way God intended. It won't be long now before we put all of our knowledge to the test!
Paul and I discovered that we are far more immature than we originally thought as neither of us could watch a live birth video without laughing or looking away. It didn't help that most of the labor videos we watched were filmed in the 70's and 80's. The men were always shirtless with bushy beards and the women were rocking the Amazon down below. One time Paul and I were holding our laughter back so hard that I ended up crying and had to practice my deep breathing in order to calm down before Lisa flipped on the lights.
But in the end I honestly believe I am more educated about labor and delivery than most women who have already given birth. In my mind I have a clear picture of my perfect labor and my worst nightmare labor, and I'm just hoping for something in the middle. I think that in the end we learned how to be our own advocates. You can't ask for what you want when you don't know what you want. I know that God is always in control, but now I feel that I can help make the decisions that will lead us to a natural birth the way God intended. It won't be long now before we put all of our knowledge to the test!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Happy New Year!
First of all I should mention that my 26th birthday was wonderful. The best part? No hangover! I did decide that since I have lost a whole year of my 20's to pregnancy that I can be 25 again this year if I so choose. This birthday was special in more than one way. My new friend Sally from Bradley pointed out that there was a Blue Moon on my birthday. According to her blog:
"A lunar month lasts 29.53 days. This is how long it takes for the Moon to make a cycle though all of her phases: New Moon, Waxing Crescent, First Quarter, Waxing Gibbous, Full Moon, Waning Gibbous, Third Quarter, Waning Crescent, and New again. Because the months of our annual calendar average thirty days there is generally only one full moon a month. But, every now and then – once in a “blue moon” to be exact, there will be a month with two full moons!
When a month has two full moons, the second moon is called a “Blue Moon.” Blue moons are rather rare, and that is why the saying goes “once in a blue moon.” In fact they only happen once every 2.72 years. The next time we will see a blue moon will be August of 2012."
While we actually never got to see the moon, I still thought that was pretty cool! Sara, Matt, and my parents came to dinner for my birthday. We went to Bonefish Grill and it was so delicious. I had a nonalcoholic martini with a glow stick in it so that I looked like a pregnant lush. We played a few games when we got home and then passed out on the couch watching football. I woke up about 30 seconds before midnight to watch some guy jump across a bridge in a race car, but we didn't see the ball drop. We were then blessed with the sound of people in the surrounding ghetto blasting their guns at the stroke of midnight (because the bullets disappear into the sky and do not come down to hit people/cars/homes).
Here is my 35 week belly shot:
As of late, my thoughts about the pregnancy have changed from "oh my gosh I'm pregnant" to "holy crap I'm having a baby." In light of this, I have been taking as much time as possible to enjoy all of the things we non-parents take advantage of on a daily basis. For example, lately I like to sit on the couch in the morning and just enjoy the silence and cleanliness of our peaceful home. Our life is so free and easy, shopping when we want to shop, sleeping when we want to sleep, and showering when we want to shower. Many new parents say that we won't be able to imagine how we lived our lives before Chloe. I am sure that very soon I will be saying the same thing and so I thought I would post it here so that I can look back and learn that we did have a life before Chloe and it was E.A.S.Y. We were well fed, well rested, and well dressed.
Some days I feel I am stuck in some sort of purgatory where one side of me is clinging to our old, easy life. Just the three of us. The best husband in the world who cooks gourmet meals, fixes things when needed, and loves me unconditionally, the best doggie in the world who sleeps most of the day, goes in his crate when we want to leave, and loves me unconditionally, and me. Lucky me! And then there is this other side of me that bitch slaps the old me. The new side of me can't wait to meet our baby girl. I imagine what she will look like and what she will act like. I imagine hauling her around on my hip and laughing with her when she starts to do silly things. I imagine her tugging on Griff's ears and trying to ride him around like a pony.
I know this internal battle between the old me and new me is common in the last month of pregnancy. Everyone said I would start to have mini anxiety attacks when I realized that HOLY CRAP I'M HAVING A BABY. I have so much to do this last month that I hardly have time to analyze these thoughts. I'm sure that as the month progresses I will become more and more focused on what lies ahead and less concerned about the past. After all, I have the Lord to guide me and comfort me. He will give us confidence and strength for this new journey, and I know I will look back and laugh to think I would ever miss my "old" life.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31
Me, Griff, and Chloe:
"A lunar month lasts 29.53 days. This is how long it takes for the Moon to make a cycle though all of her phases: New Moon, Waxing Crescent, First Quarter, Waxing Gibbous, Full Moon, Waning Gibbous, Third Quarter, Waning Crescent, and New again. Because the months of our annual calendar average thirty days there is generally only one full moon a month. But, every now and then – once in a “blue moon” to be exact, there will be a month with two full moons!
When a month has two full moons, the second moon is called a “Blue Moon.” Blue moons are rather rare, and that is why the saying goes “once in a blue moon.” In fact they only happen once every 2.72 years. The next time we will see a blue moon will be August of 2012."
While we actually never got to see the moon, I still thought that was pretty cool! Sara, Matt, and my parents came to dinner for my birthday. We went to Bonefish Grill and it was so delicious. I had a nonalcoholic martini with a glow stick in it so that I looked like a pregnant lush. We played a few games when we got home and then passed out on the couch watching football. I woke up about 30 seconds before midnight to watch some guy jump across a bridge in a race car, but we didn't see the ball drop. We were then blessed with the sound of people in the surrounding ghetto blasting their guns at the stroke of midnight (because the bullets disappear into the sky and do not come down to hit people/cars/homes).
Here is my 35 week belly shot:
As of late, my thoughts about the pregnancy have changed from "oh my gosh I'm pregnant" to "holy crap I'm having a baby." In light of this, I have been taking as much time as possible to enjoy all of the things we non-parents take advantage of on a daily basis. For example, lately I like to sit on the couch in the morning and just enjoy the silence and cleanliness of our peaceful home. Our life is so free and easy, shopping when we want to shop, sleeping when we want to sleep, and showering when we want to shower. Many new parents say that we won't be able to imagine how we lived our lives before Chloe. I am sure that very soon I will be saying the same thing and so I thought I would post it here so that I can look back and learn that we did have a life before Chloe and it was E.A.S.Y. We were well fed, well rested, and well dressed.
Some days I feel I am stuck in some sort of purgatory where one side of me is clinging to our old, easy life. Just the three of us. The best husband in the world who cooks gourmet meals, fixes things when needed, and loves me unconditionally, the best doggie in the world who sleeps most of the day, goes in his crate when we want to leave, and loves me unconditionally, and me. Lucky me! And then there is this other side of me that bitch slaps the old me. The new side of me can't wait to meet our baby girl. I imagine what she will look like and what she will act like. I imagine hauling her around on my hip and laughing with her when she starts to do silly things. I imagine her tugging on Griff's ears and trying to ride him around like a pony.
I know this internal battle between the old me and new me is common in the last month of pregnancy. Everyone said I would start to have mini anxiety attacks when I realized that HOLY CRAP I'M HAVING A BABY. I have so much to do this last month that I hardly have time to analyze these thoughts. I'm sure that as the month progresses I will become more and more focused on what lies ahead and less concerned about the past. After all, I have the Lord to guide me and comfort me. He will give us confidence and strength for this new journey, and I know I will look back and laugh to think I would ever miss my "old" life.
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31
Me, Griff, and Chloe:
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A Few Annoying Things
Before I forget, I should make note of a few pregnancy related things. Just the other day my boss asked if I was getting uncomfortable from the pregnancy. I told him that I rarely even noticed I was pregnant because Chloe is such a good girl. Well not 24 hours later I found myself sitting in my computer chair with ribs so numb I thought they were bruised or cracked. I have decided that at 5'2'' there is just very little room in my abdomen once in the sitting position. While Chloe spends the work day kicking my ribs, my back also starts to complain from being all hunched over and tense from the kicking. So to my surprise, working is actually becoming very challenging. I have found that I am still totally comfortable as long as I am standing or lying down. I am considering setting up a work space on the couch so that I can lie down while I work.
I shouldn't even put this into words since it bit me in the butt last time, but I still sleep like a baby. A lot of pregnant women say they have to get up four or five times at night to use the bathroom, but I typically wake up once or not at all. As long as I have my body pillow, sleeping is the best part of the day!
Another annoying thing is that for the last 10 weeks or so the top of my belly has been burning as my skin stretches. The bottom part of my belly had a little more give, but the top part of my belly has never had any chub on it so it is a little tougher for baby to make room up there. I wish she would just give up, but she seems determined to use up every corner of my belly. I spend a lot of time scratching the top of my belly and pushing her little feet out of my ribs.
With the baby taking up more and more space in my belly I am finding that it is harder and harder to breathe. Every week I read aloud to Paul what the baby will be up to in the coming week and each week I get more and more winded as I read. My walk into work is about three blocks plus two flights of stairs. When I get to the office I am quite winded. I've read this is completely normal, but is yet another annoying thing.
I can tell that Chloe is positioned head down because she gets the hiccups in the lower left side of my abdomen and kicks my ribs with lethal force. I continue to do my pregnancy exercises to keep her positioned properly so hopefully she stays put for the remaining six weeks.
I shouldn't even put this into words since it bit me in the butt last time, but I still sleep like a baby. A lot of pregnant women say they have to get up four or five times at night to use the bathroom, but I typically wake up once or not at all. As long as I have my body pillow, sleeping is the best part of the day!
Another annoying thing is that for the last 10 weeks or so the top of my belly has been burning as my skin stretches. The bottom part of my belly had a little more give, but the top part of my belly has never had any chub on it so it is a little tougher for baby to make room up there. I wish she would just give up, but she seems determined to use up every corner of my belly. I spend a lot of time scratching the top of my belly and pushing her little feet out of my ribs.
With the baby taking up more and more space in my belly I am finding that it is harder and harder to breathe. Every week I read aloud to Paul what the baby will be up to in the coming week and each week I get more and more winded as I read. My walk into work is about three blocks plus two flights of stairs. When I get to the office I am quite winded. I've read this is completely normal, but is yet another annoying thing.
I can tell that Chloe is positioned head down because she gets the hiccups in the lower left side of my abdomen and kicks my ribs with lethal force. I continue to do my pregnancy exercises to keep her positioned properly so hopefully she stays put for the remaining six weeks.
Chloe's "First" Christmas
Chloe's "first" Christmas flew by just like we expected. We missed my favorite Christmas party on my dad's side because they had it the Sunday before Christmas. We went home for Paul's family party on a Sunday two weeks prior and it just gets to be exhausting and expensive traveling all that way for just the day. But Chloe did pick up a few very cute gifts from that party including the most adorable elephant stuffed animal I have ever seen from Great Grandma and some cheetah print boots from Great Aunt Paula and Uncle Jeff.
My Dad came to Grand Rapids on Christmas Eve so that we could do our annual Christmas Eve shopping trip. We have been going for at least eight years now because the stores are not crowded and everything has already been marked down for the big day after Christmas sale. We showed up 45 minutes early to church that night and every seat was already full. We were standing in the back when I realized that I might be able to play the "pregnancy card." I took off my coat and when the usher saw me he put two seats together at the front of the church. We had the best view for the first time ever! Go Chloe! We went to the Baker's Christmas party later that night and then spent the night at my parent's house and watched It's A Beautiful Life before bed.
We woke up very early on Christmas morning because Baby Andrew is an early riser. Our baby Griffin is also an early riser. Every morning is Christmas morning for Griffin at my parent's house. He can't wait to get up to see Dolli and my Dad. One of my best Christmas surprises is that my parents bought us a KitchenAid! I was so excited that I cried. I am so thrilled and will need it to do some baking with Chloe in the future. I think the best part about this Christmas was opening presents for Chloe. She got some cute outfits, a toy, and a cute book from Aunt Shantel and Uncle Drew, and she got her first ornament from my Mom along with an outfit. After breakfast we slept until about noon and then headed over to Paul's house. We had a delicious dinner and watched the kids open gifts. Chloe got a Care Bear from Grandma and Grandpa. Santa brought the Moore's a new chocolate lab puppy named Bear. He looks just like a teddy bear and is super sweet. I got to cuddle with him at night since the kids were preoccupied playing with their new toys.
We also heard some good news over the weekend. Both Becky Reiber and Michelle Henige announced they are pregnant! That makes for four new babies on the Reiber side in 2010 with one in February, May, July, and August. Right now Shantel is the only married female on the Reiber side not pregnant. She had better watch out because people are catching pregnant on the toilet seats!
We headed back to Grand Rapids on Saturday so that we could relax the rest of the weekend. Overall, Christmas wasn't too stressful this year. I'm sure that next year will be a different story with Chloe running around. On New Years Eve I will be turning 26. My 20's are flying by just like this pregnancy!
My Dad came to Grand Rapids on Christmas Eve so that we could do our annual Christmas Eve shopping trip. We have been going for at least eight years now because the stores are not crowded and everything has already been marked down for the big day after Christmas sale. We showed up 45 minutes early to church that night and every seat was already full. We were standing in the back when I realized that I might be able to play the "pregnancy card." I took off my coat and when the usher saw me he put two seats together at the front of the church. We had the best view for the first time ever! Go Chloe! We went to the Baker's Christmas party later that night and then spent the night at my parent's house and watched It's A Beautiful Life before bed.
We woke up very early on Christmas morning because Baby Andrew is an early riser. Our baby Griffin is also an early riser. Every morning is Christmas morning for Griffin at my parent's house. He can't wait to get up to see Dolli and my Dad. One of my best Christmas surprises is that my parents bought us a KitchenAid! I was so excited that I cried. I am so thrilled and will need it to do some baking with Chloe in the future. I think the best part about this Christmas was opening presents for Chloe. She got some cute outfits, a toy, and a cute book from Aunt Shantel and Uncle Drew, and she got her first ornament from my Mom along with an outfit. After breakfast we slept until about noon and then headed over to Paul's house. We had a delicious dinner and watched the kids open gifts. Chloe got a Care Bear from Grandma and Grandpa. Santa brought the Moore's a new chocolate lab puppy named Bear. He looks just like a teddy bear and is super sweet. I got to cuddle with him at night since the kids were preoccupied playing with their new toys.
We also heard some good news over the weekend. Both Becky Reiber and Michelle Henige announced they are pregnant! That makes for four new babies on the Reiber side in 2010 with one in February, May, July, and August. Right now Shantel is the only married female on the Reiber side not pregnant. She had better watch out because people are catching pregnant on the toilet seats!
We headed back to Grand Rapids on Saturday so that we could relax the rest of the weekend. Overall, Christmas wasn't too stressful this year. I'm sure that next year will be a different story with Chloe running around. On New Years Eve I will be turning 26. My 20's are flying by just like this pregnancy!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
33 Week Update
At my doctors appointment last Friday I weighed in at 162, which means that so far I have gained over 25 pounds. It might be too early to detect a trend, but it seems I am gaining about a pound a week, which is on track with the books I have been reading. At this pace I should be able to keep the weight gain to about 35 pounds. We are seeing the doctor every two weeks now and will be going every week as the pregnancy comes to a close. I had to see the one doctor in the practice that I don't like, and he was the only one with an open appointment next week (I wonder why?). He will, inevitably, be the turd on call when I go into labor. Here is a pic of my 33 week belly.
Even though I definitely have a baby belly, and even though it is pretty obvious that I am only a little chubby, but mostly pregnant, people are still terrified to ask me about the baby. I don't know if I just look bitchy or if people in Western Michigan just mind their manners. So far, I have only had two women ask when I was due and one waiter who told me "he ain't never heard of no pregnant woman ordering a steak medium rare." Thanks. I'll have my scotch on the rocks, too. When I meet with new people at work I will notice them staring uncomfortably at my belly for a good half hour, minds racing, "Is she pregnant? Yes, she is definitely pregnant. Shit, if I ask and she isn't pregnant I will just die." After making them sweat I will usually bring it up in casual conversation and the floodgates open "I was going to ask you when your baby was due! Oh my gosh that is so exciting! What are you having? Do you plan to breastfeed? Because you HAVE to breastfeed or your baby will die." And I am proud to say that so far I have only had one belly rubber. I didn't like it, but I let it happen. There was far too large an audience and she was far too old for me to body slam her.
In other news, Paul and I attended his family's Christmas Party at Oakley Hall where we contracted some strain of the flu from one of the lovely guests. At least ten others came down with the same thing. Paul and I spent a few days plastered to the couch in the fetal position before recovering. Here is a picture of Oli and Tay at the party just before they got the flu. They must've known it was coming.
Just prior to our bout with the flu, Grand Rapids was blessed with its first snow storm of the year. It pretty much snowed only on Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo like usual. Paul took a picture before we left to get the flu. (Mom, don't look at the bows. I still need two more!)
Even though I definitely have a baby belly, and even though it is pretty obvious that I am only a little chubby, but mostly pregnant, people are still terrified to ask me about the baby. I don't know if I just look bitchy or if people in Western Michigan just mind their manners. So far, I have only had two women ask when I was due and one waiter who told me "he ain't never heard of no pregnant woman ordering a steak medium rare." Thanks. I'll have my scotch on the rocks, too. When I meet with new people at work I will notice them staring uncomfortably at my belly for a good half hour, minds racing, "Is she pregnant? Yes, she is definitely pregnant. Shit, if I ask and she isn't pregnant I will just die." After making them sweat I will usually bring it up in casual conversation and the floodgates open "I was going to ask you when your baby was due! Oh my gosh that is so exciting! What are you having? Do you plan to breastfeed? Because you HAVE to breastfeed or your baby will die." And I am proud to say that so far I have only had one belly rubber. I didn't like it, but I let it happen. There was far too large an audience and she was far too old for me to body slam her.
In other news, Paul and I attended his family's Christmas Party at Oakley Hall where we contracted some strain of the flu from one of the lovely guests. At least ten others came down with the same thing. Paul and I spent a few days plastered to the couch in the fetal position before recovering. Here is a picture of Oli and Tay at the party just before they got the flu. They must've known it was coming.
Just prior to our bout with the flu, Grand Rapids was blessed with its first snow storm of the year. It pretty much snowed only on Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo like usual. Paul took a picture before we left to get the flu. (Mom, don't look at the bows. I still need two more!)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A Mother's Love
I would dare to bet that I have always been this way, but around my junior year of college I came to the realization that I have what I like to refer to as an obsessive, or addictive personality. It all started with Harry Potter. I read the first book in one day and then the next day I went out and bought the five remaining books. I read them over the course of two or three weeks all the while working a full time internship and taking a full course load. I can recall coming home from the bar one night at 2:00 am and anxiously cracking open my Harry Potter book. For weeks Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were the only people I talked about. I was having nightmares about Lord Voldemort and relating real life scenarios to scenes from Harry Potter. I was a total nutcase. I just couldn't stop! Shortly after my Harry Potter obsession I became hooked on Sex and the City. Eyes practically bleeding, I watched the series sometimes until 4:00 am. I have so many examples of these addictions. The minute I crack open the cover of a new book I feel inclined to finish it that day - even if it is horrible! It is just the way I am programmed.
All I know is that this particular personality trait transcends into my relationships with people. I have always preferred to have a small number of very close friends rather than a large group of acquaintances. I am a true believer in "best friends" and "soul mates." I prefer quality over quantity, and I prefer to give all my love to a small group of people rather than spread it out sparingly over many people. If I don't talk to Sara or Kelly for more than a week I start to feel like I haven't heard from them in over a year. I just need to know what they have been up to, and I truly care about what is happening in their lives. This lengthy explanation serves as the precursor to my next point. I am completely and madly in love with my dog, Griffin.
I love Griffin so much that I truly believe he has opened a part of my soul that I never knew existed. Sometimes I have dreams about Griff falling off a ledge or running into the street and I always, without thinking, risk my own life to save him. For the past two years, Griff has been our baby, our firstborn. We baby him and buy him gifts. We take him everywhere we go and I am often offended when people say he cannot come along. I am sure that Griffin is one of a kind. How many dogs do you know who can hold a hot, fresh piece of bacon in their jowls until you say "get it?" One. Griffin. I doubt most humans could do that! It is almost frightening how much I love my dog.
What I am getting at, what I have been thinking a lot about lately, is how insanely in love I will be with Chloe when she is born - how insanely in love I am with her already. There must be few things more powerful than a mother's love. I remember realizing one day, randomly, that my mother is the most amazing person in the world. I had spent a good 5-7 years being totally embarrassed of her when one day it hit me that only God Himself could love me more than my mom. And instantly it broke my heart. I thought of how she stayed home with us until we were in school. When we were old enough she got a job and went to school part time. I remember jumping on her bed while she studied for her CPA exam. Have you ever taken beginning accounting? She is amazing. She dragged us around to softball, dance, wrestling, and birthday parties. She never took a day off from loving us. Then I thought of how utterly terrible I was to her for so many years. I had even screamed the words "I HATE YOU" and slammed the door in her face. And yet she STILL loves me. I think she loves me more and more each day. That kind of love and devotion is truly remarkable. It is difficult to even put into words. I just know that I am in for something huge, something unquantifiable. Thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to experience the power of a mother's love!
All I know is that this particular personality trait transcends into my relationships with people. I have always preferred to have a small number of very close friends rather than a large group of acquaintances. I am a true believer in "best friends" and "soul mates." I prefer quality over quantity, and I prefer to give all my love to a small group of people rather than spread it out sparingly over many people. If I don't talk to Sara or Kelly for more than a week I start to feel like I haven't heard from them in over a year. I just need to know what they have been up to, and I truly care about what is happening in their lives. This lengthy explanation serves as the precursor to my next point. I am completely and madly in love with my dog, Griffin.
I love Griffin so much that I truly believe he has opened a part of my soul that I never knew existed. Sometimes I have dreams about Griff falling off a ledge or running into the street and I always, without thinking, risk my own life to save him. For the past two years, Griff has been our baby, our firstborn. We baby him and buy him gifts. We take him everywhere we go and I am often offended when people say he cannot come along. I am sure that Griffin is one of a kind. How many dogs do you know who can hold a hot, fresh piece of bacon in their jowls until you say "get it?" One. Griffin. I doubt most humans could do that! It is almost frightening how much I love my dog.
What I am getting at, what I have been thinking a lot about lately, is how insanely in love I will be with Chloe when she is born - how insanely in love I am with her already. There must be few things more powerful than a mother's love. I remember realizing one day, randomly, that my mother is the most amazing person in the world. I had spent a good 5-7 years being totally embarrassed of her when one day it hit me that only God Himself could love me more than my mom. And instantly it broke my heart. I thought of how she stayed home with us until we were in school. When we were old enough she got a job and went to school part time. I remember jumping on her bed while she studied for her CPA exam. Have you ever taken beginning accounting? She is amazing. She dragged us around to softball, dance, wrestling, and birthday parties. She never took a day off from loving us. Then I thought of how utterly terrible I was to her for so many years. I had even screamed the words "I HATE YOU" and slammed the door in her face. And yet she STILL loves me. I think she loves me more and more each day. That kind of love and devotion is truly remarkable. It is difficult to even put into words. I just know that I am in for something huge, something unquantifiable. Thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to experience the power of a mother's love!
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